I have been holding back on a few questions to H. I think I was scared of the answers. Sunday morning I put on my brave girl panties and asked them. I didn't intend to but I had had a dream about OW2 and everything was rolling around in my head when I woke up. So I laid there in his arms and asked...
And he answered everything. The questions aren't important for this thread. What's important is that I think I'm finally satisfied. Sure, there are other details that I could ask. But I don't feel the need anymore. I think I can finally let everything stay in the past and move forward with our life together.
He is completely remorseful. Does anything and everything to help me. He told me that he knows that he was an idiot and he wants to be the man that I deserve again. He's happy to not live a double-life anymore. He just wants to be my husband in every sense of the word.
I'm not naive enough to think that I won't ever trigger or remember what he did. I'm just saying that I'm ready to move forward. I haven't formally forgiven him yet. But I can now see it in our future. And our future looks pretty damn good right now!
PS - I would not have survived the last year without everyone here!! Thank you!!