KOKO and I have a similar story. My H left me to pursue his out-of-town fantasy with OW4 also. But he only moved 10 minutes from me! Their Lurve Fest crashed and burned on its own. A month later I told him I was ready to divorce. A month after that we started dating. That was in Novemeber. By January, we stopped his the EOW visits with the kids because he spent every weekend at the house again. He moved home February 21st.
We took the time to get to know each other again. We went to Vegas for our 17th anniversary in March and that trip really solidified the deal.
I did have another dday in April when I discovered the ONS. But now I have the truth. He's doing the work on himself and helping me heal. He gets it. My H is now disgusted by the person he became. But it took a 10 month separation for him to understand what was truly important to him.
When I was asking your same questions, it seemed that most people did not date again after separating. I found KOKO and a few others who could relate. It's not easy. But it can be lots of fun too.
And in my case, the outcome has been fantastic. I have the husband that I deserve - again!
Edit: We also continue to date - every other Saturday is date night for us. The others are Kid/Parent date nights. We alternate the kids so each one gets one-on-one time with us.
[This message edited by TXBW68 at 8:54 AM, June 26th (Wednesday)]