My fiance got a DUI 5 yrs ago. It was his WAKE UP CALL.
it was his 1st offense, and he was lucky enough to get ARD (basically--if he completed alcohol awareness classes, and 1 yr probation with ZERO drinking and 6 mos license loss the DUI would be wiped clean).......but if he fucked up ANY part of his ARD, he'd have the DUI on his permanent record and possibly face a jail sentence.
He was 30 minutes EARLY to every class/hearing/AA meeting....EVERYTHING, because he KNEW he fucked up and he had to make it right.
One of the things he heard at Alcohol Awareness class was that 70% of the people in his class would re-offend, and the teacher could tell who they would be because they took nothing about ARD seriously. (showed up late to classes, skipped classes, didn't report to probation, etc)
The point of me sharing my story, Skan, is to say that what your husband did is a big red flag to me---he's going to do it again.
He isn't taking this seriously. He hasn't hit his rock bottom.
And you can't fix it, and that is what sucks, because his shitty decisions affect not just him, but his FAMILY.
He doesn't care about himself enough to care about what this is doing to you.
I'm so sorry. (((((Skan)))))