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Newest Member: infiniti (61794)

User Topic: I married an asshole - rant
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 7:36 PM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That stupid ass that I'm married to missed his mandatory counseling session which is a part of his DUI conviction. He had an appointment at 3pm with a lawyer, not more than 10 minutes away from his 4:20 meeting with the councilor. Instead of staying in the area, he decided to come home, more than 1/2 an hour away, and look at work email, all of which he could have done at a Starbucks near the counseling center. And forgot to set a timer. And, of course, got out late, almost running me down, and took off probably speeding along the way.

He called me, sounding down, and I asked him if he had made his appointment. No, he said, and started to explain. I cut him right off. I told him, "You are the most god-damned selfish asshole that I have ever known," and hung up. I then emailed him the most expletive-filled note that I have ever sent anyone. He is putting his job at risk because of having to go to these classes and because of other matters, he is sinking us financially because of his damned DUI conviction, and he shows absolutely no awareness that all of the common denominator in this entire mess is HIM and his CRAPPY DECISIONS!

I really fucking hate him right now. And when he comes dragging his sorry ass home after his class, which he had better not be late for, I don't know what I'm going to say to him. Because he's loosing my respect rapidly and I am really wondering exactly why I am staying in the same house with him.

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
♀ 37154
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 8:37 PM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry!' Yikes.

Dday -9/23/2012

Posts: 2313 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
♀ 34353
Member # 34353
Default  Posted: 10:01 PM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He has his head up his ass. I am sorry.

Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA and 10/28/15 NEW dday.
Just surviving.

Posts: 1849 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: midwest now.
♀ 34319
Member # 34319
Default  Posted: 1:37 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry Skan. He has work to do. Even though you can't control his actions, it is awfully tempting to try when he is threatening your combined financial situation. I heard you and am sorry that he is making such sorry choices.

D-day: Christmas 2011
D-day 2: 3/28/2013

Married for over 15 years
2 beautiful sons

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou

Posts: 1486 | Registered: Dec 2011
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 2:42 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh my gosh, that would absolutely launch me into orbital anger. I'm so sorry.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!

Posts: 10722 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Sad in AZ
♀ 24239
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 7:39 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is inexcusable; he has checked out of reality.

You need to re-read your tagline; if you get dragged down with him, he's not the one to blame.

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
Him: WXH-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

Posts: 25302 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Arizona
♀ 31094
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 8:20 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My fiance got a DUI 5 yrs ago. It was his WAKE UP CALL.

it was his 1st offense, and he was lucky enough to get ARD (basically--if he completed alcohol awareness classes, and 1 yr probation with ZERO drinking and 6 mos license loss the DUI would be wiped clean).......but if he fucked up ANY part of his ARD, he'd have the DUI on his permanent record and possibly face a jail sentence.

He was 30 minutes EARLY to every class/hearing/AA meeting....EVERYTHING, because he KNEW he fucked up and he had to make it right.

One of the things he heard at Alcohol Awareness class was that 70% of the people in his class would re-offend, and the teacher could tell who they would be because they took nothing about ARD seriously. (showed up late to classes, skipped classes, didn't report to probation, etc)

The point of me sharing my story, Skan, is to say that what your husband did is a big red flag to me---he's going to do it again.

He isn't taking this seriously. He hasn't hit his rock bottom.

And you can't fix it, and that is what sucks, because his shitty decisions affect not just him, but his FAMILY.

He doesn't care about himself enough to care about what this is doing to you.

I'm so sorry. (((((Skan)))))

Posts: 3446 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
♀ 39591
Member # 39591
Default  Posted: 9:42 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just have to comment...WH just got second DUI in a year's time...two days after dday..the night he came home to "talk" he left me to go see OW and ended up with a DUI that I am now going to help pay for. He has continued to drink and drive since then. Thought he knew better, this would be his wake-up hasn't been, doesnt sound like it has been your H maybe it should be OUR wake-up call.

Posts: 72 | Registered: Jun 2013
Topic Posts: 8

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