Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-

SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Giupeppe (46032)

User Topic: Kids gone for two weeks. Gaak.
cmego
♀ 30346
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 7:46 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

EX asked for additional time this summer, for the first time in 3 years. I think I said before his explanation is that "now he has time for them".

I know they want to spend time with him...so I agreed to see how it goes. EX is taking them to visit his family and the boyfriend is going too. Of course. Because he is incapable of being alone with them.

I am silently freaking out. I have never been away from them for this long. I just keep tearing up every time I even think about it. Crap.

I have plans to work on the house, have things scheduled with friends, volunteer work, etc. It still just sucks.

I fucking hate divorce some days.

Vent over.


me...BS, 44 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced


Posts: 4283 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
jo2love
♀ 31528
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((cmego))))

[This message edited by SI Staff at 10:05 AM, June 26th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 36776 | Registered: Mar 2011
lostmommy
♀ 33440
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 1:06 PM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((cmego)))


Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
caregiver9000
♀ 28622
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((cmego)))

Road trip!! My door is open.


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5943 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 5:04 PM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((cmego)))) I fucking hate divorce too. Sorry, honey.


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26489 | Registered: Aug 2011
Amazonia
♀ 32810
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 5:23 PM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My door is also open.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13933 | Registered: Jul 2011
better4me
♀ 30341
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 5:36 PM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((cmego)) Remember we will be available on SI for those two weeks!


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:53
Divorced

Posts: 3266 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
cmego
♀ 30346
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 8:32 PM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks guys...I may need it. I lashed out at someone I shouldn't have today that is connected to ex. I had to apologize, it is no one else's fault. I just can't stand to see people "support" him.

Hating him right now. I know that once they are gone, I will be better. It is the leading up to them leaving that just kills me. We snuggled and did puzzles/movie/popcorn tonight.

Fuck, I hate that man. He keeps texting me and I lashed out at him too. Asking questions about details for the pick up which were not important, and I...well...I was a complete bitch. Then he wants to know "what is wrong with me" and I go to crickets. He gets none of my emotion. I've been too nice to him for too long. The hate is back right now.

It doesn't help that someone in my 'hood told me her marriage is "crumbling" and wanted my "advice". I told her that I was not the person to ask this week. Divorce sucks.

Blarg.

I have a million things lined up to do...friend supporting me..plans so I don't go crazy. I may road trip it though :)


me...BS, 44 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced


Posts: 4283 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
jilted12
♀ 35640
Member # 35640
Default  Posted: 5:21 AM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

 I know that once they are gone, I will be better. It is the leading up to them leaving that just kills me. 

Sounds like you are already aware of this but it is true. My kids were gone for a week earlier this month & it was the first time I had been away from any of them that long. I was dreading it & had so much other stuff going on at that time I actually had a full blown panic attack. First time it ever happened & scared the crap out of me as I honestly thought it was a heart attack. Anyway, once they left I kept so busy that the time really did fly by. I got caught up at work, went out with friends a few nights, did some stuff around the house, etc. I even got to run every day! And as you said, they do want to spend time with him. It helped me to see how excited my kids were to go away with him.

I know your kids will be gone longer than mine but keep busy and I'm sure it will go quicker than you think. One night I did save for relaxing...poured a big glass of wine & soaked in a big bubble bath. Haven't done that in years! (((cmego)))


Me: BS 40
Him: WS 39
Married 10 yrs, together 13
DS-8, DD-5, DS-2
D-Day 5/9/12, 2 days before #3 was born
Filed for D 8/12; D final 4/13

"I used to be married but I'm better now"


Posts: 188 | Registered: May 2012
OnceInALifetime
♂ 26023
Member # 26023
Default  Posted: 6:49 AM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't know if this will help, but for what it's worth:

My ex takes the kids abroad every summer for a whole month. This started even before the divorce and has continued since.

At first, I was so lonely. But after just a little while, realized "hey, I'm completely free here!" Time opened WAY up.

Try to make the best of it and revel in your freedom. 2 weeks isn't so long. Think of the times you've felt stretched thin with responsibilit,y and give yourself some serious "cmego" time.

You'll miss them and you'll worry, for sure. But you may not have such a free stretch if time again for some time. Try to make the best if it and enjoy it


BH, now divorced

Posts: 3012 | Registered: Oct 2009
gahurts
♂ 33699
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 11:13 AM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^^ THIS!

I completely agree with OIAL. Try to look forward to and enjoy some alone time. You really have earned it. Set aside some time (but not too much) to talk to the kids a few times during the weeks they are away to keep in touch but then go out and have fun or get those projects done. It really does get easier the more you do it.

And come here often to vent to us. We are all here for you.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3523 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
cmego
♀ 30346
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, I am...I am tons to do. This is just the first time in their lives I've ever been away more than a week. It is like my arm has been cut off.

Painting their rooms.
Signed up for a fun "glow run" with BFF
Volunteer work
Hair cut
On Match and probably have a date this weekend. I figured it was a good time to have a few first dates.

Just...venting to those who understand.


me...BS, 44 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced


Posts: 4283 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
homewrecked2011
♀ 34678
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 7:02 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We all understand!


Keep Calm and Happy On!

me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed


Posts: 2383 | Registered: Jan 2012
wannabenormal
♀ 19772
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 1:56 AM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I didn't read replies, but I'm adding my $0.02

I was never a girl who thought about being a mom since I was 6, kwim? Once I became one - that changed. Once I divorced, it changed more. I HATE 'sharing' my children.

I'm glad their father is as active as he is, but selfishly, I wish he wasn't sometimes. I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I do.

I also won't see my children for the next week or so and it hurts, but I've already mapped out plans (um, like housework, working but some friend time too!)

We're here for you. ((cmego))



Posts: 14427 | Registered: Jun 2008
little turtle
♀ 15584
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 9:09 AM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can completely relate. XH suggested that we switch our arrangement to week on, week off. I tried to accept it for the kids, but I cried and cried and cried...just thinking about the time when they will be gone. We went with a different arrangement instead. XH was supposed to take them 4th of July week, but he got called back to work and I've had to make other arrangements for the kids since I made plans during that time expecting him to have them.

((((cmego))))


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4247 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
Amazonia
♀ 32810
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 11:21 AM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How did it go?


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13933 | Registered: Jul 2011
Topic Posts: 16

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
adultry
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.