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Kids gone for two weeks. Gaak.

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cmego posted 6/26/2013 07:46 AM

EX asked for additional time this summer, for the first time in 3 years. I think I said before his explanation is that "now he has time for them".

I know they want to spend time with I agreed to see how it goes. EX is taking them to visit his family and the boyfriend is going too. Of course. Because he is incapable of being alone with them.

I am silently freaking out. I have never been away from them for this long. I just keep tearing up every time I even think about it. Crap.

I have plans to work on the house, have things scheduled with friends, volunteer work, etc. It still just sucks.

I fucking hate divorce some days.

Vent over.

jo2love posted 6/26/2013 10:05 AM


[This message edited by SI Staff at 10:05 AM, June 26th (Wednesday)]

lostmommy posted 6/26/2013 13:06 PM


caregiver9000 posted 6/26/2013 13:15 PM


Road trip!! My door is open.

nowiknow23 posted 6/26/2013 17:04 PM

((((cmego)))) I fucking hate divorce too. Sorry, honey.

Amazonia posted 6/26/2013 17:23 PM

My door is also open.

better4me posted 6/26/2013 17:36 PM

((cmego)) Remember we will be available on SI for those two weeks!

cmego posted 6/26/2013 20:32 PM

Thanks guys...I may need it. I lashed out at someone I shouldn't have today that is connected to ex. I had to apologize, it is no one else's fault. I just can't stand to see people "support" him.

Hating him right now. I know that once they are gone, I will be better. It is the leading up to them leaving that just kills me. We snuggled and did puzzles/movie/popcorn tonight.

Fuck, I hate that man. He keeps texting me and I lashed out at him too. Asking questions about details for the pick up which were not important, and I...well...I was a complete bitch. Then he wants to know "what is wrong with me" and I go to crickets. He gets none of my emotion. I've been too nice to him for too long. The hate is back right now.

It doesn't help that someone in my 'hood told me her marriage is "crumbling" and wanted my "advice". I told her that I was not the person to ask this week. Divorce sucks.


I have a million things lined up to do...friend supporting me..plans so I don't go crazy. I may road trip it though :)

jilted12 posted 6/27/2013 05:21 AM

I know that once they are gone, I will be better. It is the leading up to them leaving that just kills me.

Sounds like you are already aware of this but it is true. My kids were gone for a week earlier this month & it was the first time I had been away from any of them that long. I was dreading it & had so much other stuff going on at that time I actually had a full blown panic attack. First time it ever happened & scared the crap out of me as I honestly thought it was a heart attack. Anyway, once they left I kept so busy that the time really did fly by. I got caught up at work, went out with friends a few nights, did some stuff around the house, etc. I even got to run every day! And as you said, they do want to spend time with him. It helped me to see how excited my kids were to go away with him.

I know your kids will be gone longer than mine but keep busy and I'm sure it will go quicker than you think. One night I did save for relaxing...poured a big glass of wine & soaked in a big bubble bath. Haven't done that in years! (((cmego)))

OnceInALifetime posted 6/27/2013 06:49 AM

Don't know if this will help, but for what it's worth:

My ex takes the kids abroad every summer for a whole month. This started even before the divorce and has continued since.

At first, I was so lonely. But after just a little while, realized "hey, I'm completely free here!" Time opened WAY up.

Try to make the best of it and revel in your freedom. 2 weeks isn't so long. Think of the times you've felt stretched thin with responsibilit,y and give yourself some serious "cmego" time.

You'll miss them and you'll worry, for sure. But you may not have such a free stretch if time again for some time. Try to make the best if it and enjoy it

gahurts posted 6/27/2013 11:13 AM

^^^^ THIS!

I completely agree with OIAL. Try to look forward to and enjoy some alone time. You really have earned it. Set aside some time (but not too much) to talk to the kids a few times during the weeks they are away to keep in touch but then go out and have fun or get those projects done. It really does get easier the more you do it.

And come here often to vent to us. We are all here for you.

cmego posted 6/27/2013 11:40 AM

Oh, I am...I am tons to do. This is just the first time in their lives I've ever been away more than a week. It is like my arm has been cut off.

Painting their rooms.
Signed up for a fun "glow run" with BFF
Volunteer work
Hair cut
On Match and probably have a date this weekend. I figured it was a good time to have a few first dates.

Just...venting to those who understand.

homewrecked2011 posted 6/27/2013 19:02 PM

We all understand!

wannabenormal posted 6/29/2013 01:56 AM

I didn't read replies, but I'm adding my $0.02

I was never a girl who thought about being a mom since I was 6, kwim? Once I became one - that changed. Once I divorced, it changed more. I HATE 'sharing' my children.

I'm glad their father is as active as he is, but selfishly, I wish he wasn't sometimes. I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I do.

I also won't see my children for the next week or so and it hurts, but I've already mapped out plans (um, like housework, working but some friend time too!)

We're here for you. ((cmego))

little turtle posted 6/29/2013 09:09 AM

I can completely relate. XH suggested that we switch our arrangement to week on, week off. I tried to accept it for the kids, but I cried and cried and cried...just thinking about the time when they will be gone. We went with a different arrangement instead. XH was supposed to take them 4th of July week, but he got called back to work and I've had to make other arrangements for the kids since I made plans during that time expecting him to have them.


Amazonia posted 7/16/2013 11:21 AM

How did it go?

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