One of the times he talked badly about me was in a text message I had seen after one of the DDays.
By that point we had transparency, and the friend didn't know that I had access to WH's phone.
In regards to siding with the other friends, I don't think that really matters. For that situation I just think it's weird to 'choose sides' for something that didn't involve them in anyway.
The biggest issues for me are that
1.) He knew WH was messing around with some chick at work , and he found out soon after we announced my pregnancy with our second child. He didn't say anything to WH about it, and sure as hell didn't say a thing to me.
2.) After knowing that WH had been cheating on me for 5 years with 5 different women, texted him badmouthing me! I did respond to that, letting him know that I could see the text messages. He texted WH later, asking if I was still looking at the phone or not.
This man is not a friend of our marriage.
The other part is we have some mutual friends too, a couple who have a child close in age to ours. This couple and the friend and his wife are close friends, see each other often and talk a lot. I know they talk about us. I had made a post on facebook about something ( WH doesn't have facebook, the friend doesn't but can't see my page) and the friend texted WH about it.
It's weird to me that he's getting information about my posts from other people, especially when I don't even post that much, and I don't post about what happened at all. That's personal stuff that doesn't belong on facebook.
WH wants me to cut off contact with the mutual friends, but I'm not sure how to go about it. They're friends with my cousins too, so the chances of us seeing them again at some point are pretty good. I don't care what the friend thinks, but I don't want to leave things on bad terms with the mutual friends, as I don't want it to be awkward if we see them at my cousin's house.
Any advice is appreciated