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Newest Member: new2this2 (45757)

User Topic: Advice please
tesla
♀ 34697
Member # 34697
Question  Posted: 11:11 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know why I hesitate...I know what I should do because it's time to look out for my best interests and stop giving a fuck how ex-shat will perceive something. I guess I just need some validation.

So....ex-shat said he had paid Teslet's support. I *assumed* the fool set up biweekly payments.

Oh no. He made a huge ass payment which I strongly suspect is actually my half of the 2012 tax refund. Ok, I'm glad he is now caught up and technically prepaid on support for the next 2 months. However, that payment does not count as payment of my portion of the tax refund. We all get this....I guaran-fucking-tee that is not how ex-shat sees it.

I sent him a text acknowledging that child support services received Teslet's support payment. I then said, "when you send the tax refund be sure to include a copy of the federal return per the divorce decree."
Now I am questioning why I even bothered sending this. I am probably going to just get crickets and the run around. So now I've drafted an email to my lawyer asking her to follow up on the tax refund, because quite frankly, I'm tired of this shit and tired of waiting for his bullshit responses.
But a part of me thinks I should give him time to respond to the text...but then I think, FTG, I'm sending the email now because all this fucker does is waste my time.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4745 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
peridot
♀ 18334
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 11:26 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The state will see part of that payment as an over payment. They will probably send part of it back to him. At least that's how it works in my state with the garnishments.

The state won't see any of that payment as what he owes you for the tax refund. I would see about filing contempt charges for the tax refund.

I wouldn't bother asking him about the tax return anymore. Take him to court and let the judge deal with him.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4801 | Registered: Feb 2008
dmari
♀ 37215
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending you validation tesla! Yes ... it's absolutely time to look out for YOUR best interest and not giving a fuck how ex-shat perceives ANYTHING! I actually like this text that you sent: "when you send the tax refund be sure to include a copy of the federal return per the divorce decree." If you get crickets, then you can interpret that as him thinking "oh shit ... she knows." He is an idiot, a complete idiot, if he thinks you will stroke his ego for paying for CS in advance and quietly leaving out any indication of the tax refund situation. Oh brother. He probably wanted you to give him a parade for the large amount of CS.

It's a process isn't it? You are doing great ... keep moving forward and putting yourself first!


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2304 | Registered: Oct 2012
itainteasy
♀ 31094
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 11:50 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would send the email to the lawyer.

You already know asshat is going to avoid the issue.

FTG. Your time is valuable.

It's so cute, though, how he thinks you're too dumb to figure it out.


Posts: 3425 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
Amazonia
♀ 32810
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 11:56 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

part of me thinks I should give him time to respond to the text

Sure. The amount of time it takes you to draft a quality email to your lawyer with the necessary supporting documents.

Honestly? I'd probably give him until tomorrow morning and fire off an email right at 8am to your attorney.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13880 | Registered: Jul 2011
Chrysalis123
♀ 27148
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 12:12 PM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good, now you have a documented email trail of you behaving in a reasonable manner, and put it in writing you have not received the refund nor the return. Now it is up to the lawyers.

NC except for kids and finances. This was finances.

Good work!


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2782 | Registered: Jan 2010
Kajem
♀ 36134
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 3:02 PM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Until the COURT tells him how to pay his arrears to you, he will always think he paid the full amount that was owed.

He isn't listening to what you tell him, he will listen to a judge. Send the email.

And Tesla, the state CSE determines how much he owes and based according to the wording on the income deduction how much is to be paid. As he is essentially paid up and paid forward.. they can (and most likely will) assign this payment toward future payments. Which means toward the end of your dealings with the CSE you will get nothing because he has prepaid it in 2013.

Keep very detailed records... I found this to be true in my state. They don't issue refunds, but they will send the money and cut you off earlier than expected. At least in my state they will.

Hugs,

K

ETA let the lawyer know ASAP, that way while he still has HIS half of the refund, he can use it to pay you the half you are owed and he will be ahead on CS payments.

[This message edited by Kajem at 3:09 PM, June 26th (Wednesday)]


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5551 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
SBB
♀ 35229
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 4:54 PM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

part of me thinks I should give him time to respond to the text

IMO you've given him enough rope. He has hung himself. Contacting your L doesn't negate your text to him, it reinforces (enforces?) it.

In divorce when you disagree about this stuff no amount of reasoning will resolve it - unfortunately he is forcing your hand here, time to force his.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5660 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
FirstLoveGone
♀ 25957
Member # 25957
Default  Posted: 10:13 PM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In my state any overpayments are held by the state until they are used up either as future payments or payment of arrears. And my state portions out the payments by the amount due each week per my CS order. They will not issue all the money up front and then cut me off. If a credit balance is left when CS ends, the state sends the non-CP a check.

If he chose to circumvent the order and use the refund to pay the CS, that is on HIM! He's a fucking idiot if he thinks you're gonna accept that.

CS and the refund are two entirely different issues. Send the email to your lawyer. Dipshit has had plenty of time to make good on this. Time is now up.

[This message edited by FirstLoveGone at 10:19 PM, June 26th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 1278 | Registered: Oct 2009
tesla
♀ 34697
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 6:22 AM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Email sent.
FTG.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4745 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
tesla
♀ 34697
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My L talked with his L's assistant and it sounds like either he's dropped his L or his L has dropped him...waiting to get confirmation from ex-shat's L. So this just got a bit more interesting.

This afternoon the jackass texted not sure if he has Teslet this weekend but since he is working doubles that maybe we could trade weekends.

Um, asshole, please feel free to consult the google fucking calendar. Should you take 30 seconds and proceed logically to where the goddamned information is available you would see that this weekend is my weekend.
He got crickets from me.
30 minutes later he texts, "never mind just remembered that he is on vacation with you."

No moron, I am taking him camping at the end of *next* month. If you would consult the google fucking calendar you would see all this fabulous information laid out in its color-coded glory. take a break from the pot or being balls deep in stripper whore and maybe, just maybe you will be able to prevent further damage to your already precariously compromised mental faculties.

And yet, all I sent back to text #2: crickets.
FTG


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4745 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
TattoodChinaDoll
♀ 34602
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 3:27 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Something about your last post has given me fears about what is to come with STBX. I think the words, "I told you," and "I wrote it on the calendar" have come out of my mouth at least a bajillion times. This was the grown man I had to make a chore chart for....that he never used. Maybe if I stapled a gold star to his forehead every time he did something it would have given him the encouragement.

I'm sorry your ex is a child. And a giant douche.


Me (BW): 32
WH: 34 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 3, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011


Posts: 1731 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
debbysbaby
♀ 32962
Member # 32962
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh. I think you already handled this, but you might need to remind your lower muppet of a coparent that the tax return is part of the property settlement from the divorce and has nothing to do with child support which has nothing to do with the property settlement!

Wait...never mind. That would just confuse him. He lacks enough functioning brain cells to get that. Let your lawyer mop the floor of the court room with him.


-betrayed almost my whole almost 15 yr marriage
-divorced since 2004

Posts: 883 | Registered: Aug 2011
tryingagain74
♀ 33698
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 9:25 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't have any further advice. To call him a manchild is the understatement of the century.

Go check out the WNY g2g pics and temporarily ForgetThatGuy.

Then, you can go back to the regularly scheduled FTG. He needs to take a one-way trip to Bangladesh, STAT!


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3645 | Registered: Oct 2011
Topic Posts: 14

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