The opposite of love is not hate ... It is indifference.
seems I'm on the 15 year plan
Yes, what you are feeling is completely normal in every way. You are in shock and you are most likely depressed.
This information takes a toll on your body, mind and soul. Be kind to yourself and try as best you can to get up, drink water, go for a walk. Make yourself.
I was exactly in the spot you are in for the first 4-6 weeks. I could barley get out of bed, barely function. It was awful.
Please see a doctor to get some medication to help with your depression and anxiety.
Please take one day at a time and hopefully you are seeing an IC. For you. Right now you have to focus on YOU and healing.
We are all here and we all understand your heartbreak.
I am seeing a counselor, my next appointment is tomorrow and I will let her know that the depressed feelings are getting stronger.
Be kind to yourself and hang in there. There is no way to rush it. When you want to cry, just cry. You'll feel better getting it all out. And that will keep happening for weeks and weeks. I still cry at certain triggers-- but I let myself and then it's done. Try to listen to your body as much as you can!
[This message edited by blking at 4:39 PM, June 30th (Sunday)]