Q: Why do I want to have sex with WS?
A: Upon being confronted with the undeniable reality that their most trusted spouse has betrayed them with another, some BS's experience an overwhelming sexual desire for their wayward spouse.
Many couples claim to have had the best, most intense and loving sex of their relationship during the period following the discovery of an affair, (generally a few weeks to several months), often trying new things and experimenting in ways they had never considered before.
This phenomenon is termed "Hysterical Bonding.
There is very little information on this phenomenon, but it appears to be a primal, instinctual way for the partners to reconnect and reclaim each other. While it may feel counter-intuitive to the BS; as if they are "rewarding" the WS for the affair, hysterical bonding can be a stepping stone to reconciliation. The intimacy encourages communication and a closeness that may otherwise take some time to re-build.
Many other factors, such as the WS's remorse and openness are far more reliable indicators. Hysterical bonding is, however, normal, and nothing for the BS to be alarmed about or ashamed about experiencing. In fact, it has been said it is the one positive in an otherwise long and miserable experience, so enjoy it while it lasts!
Seek a new IC/MC if you aren't connecting with this one. It took us 3 but when we did it was life changing.
One actually told me to get a massage and I would feel better.
Try to take some time and think. Know that this had nothing to do with you, it was not your fault in any way. If there were problems in the marriage, they could have been handled differently.
Don't make any major decisions right away, first try to get to a better place emotionally so that you can do what is right for yourself. You will learn a lot here and I cannot stress to you how much the people here will help you, we've all been in the same situation - please post whenever you need to and keep reading, you will learn and make friends who share your pain and you'll see that you can make it through too. That will give you the strength to recover.
There are also helpful articles in the Healing Library that will give you more insight.
Good luck and keep moving.