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OnceInALifetime (original poster member #26023) posted at 3:46 AM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013
A woman I messaged replied, and I'm all Hallelujah about it, 'cause judging from the profile alone, she's an 11 on every scale.
So I most carefully compose a reply to her reply. Did a wonderful job making it sound like it was all off the cuff, even though I spent some time on it. Clicked send.
Then notice that a bunch of text that I thought I had cut was still there, so there was all this crazy repetition. I mean, it was inane.
Please tell me some of you have done that sort of shit. Please?
Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 3:58 AM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013
Write back really quick and tell her your computer had the hiccups!
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 4:02 AM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013
((((OIAL)))) That stuff happens all the time. ALL the time. Keep breathing - you're fine.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
OnceInALifetime (original poster member #26023) posted at 4:07 AM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013
Too late for damage control, Sad.
I wish these dating sites would give me 2 minutes to retract a message after I send it. So much carnage would be prevented.
Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 4:14 AM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013
FWIW, I've done that on job-hunting cover letters.
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
OnceInALifetime (original poster member #26023) posted at 4:19 AM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013
FWIW, I've done that on job-hunting cover letters
Yeah, but you're *expected* to edit the hell out of those.
Dreamboat ( member #10506) posted at 4:37 AM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013
Relax. Just today I saw on this site someone post FIVE times! Sometimes the phone or computer blips and shit happens. If t makes it better then send a follow up "oops...technology challenged" message. Seriously, it happens to everyone so just roll with it and make the best of it.
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine
OnceInALifetime (original poster member #26023) posted at 4:49 AM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013
OK, relaxing. :)
One other blunder as well, which was kind of funny. She asked what my summer plans were, so I told her it would be just occasional little getaways. Then I asked if she had any plans to make me jealous.
What I meant, in a playful sense, was did she have any plans that I would be jealous of.
But it's all OK. I figure if she responds I'll have gotten the necessary flubs out of my system early.
timeforchange ( member #27454) posted at 6:16 AM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013
I had a similar cringe worthy moment.
I was on Match. At the time my son had a FB account and I did not have one. His was permanently logged in on my phone so I could monitor activity.
Well I searched for a guy I was chatting with on Match, via FB and had a good look at his account. Just to check he was who he said he was.
Whilst scrolling I accidentally sent a friends request to him ..... From my son!!!!!!!
I spent a few hours totally mortified and wondering what to do. My son has a different surname as I use my maiden name... But the guy would still have worked out who it was in about 5 mins.
So I bit the bullet... Emailed him, told him the story and he promptly said here is my number ....... Would you like to go for a drink this weekend.
We dated over last summer and whenever people asked how we met... He told them "she stalked me on FB". We always laughed about it together.
We are no longer together but have remained friends.
So my tip would be to send a message and be honest. She may appreciate it more than you think.
A guy who had clearly spent time thinking and choosing his words wisely would score points with me. And also one who is honest enough to admit he slipped up and who can laugh it off
Me = BS aged 43
2 boys, 13 and 9
DDay 1/19/10
Confronted him 2/16/10
Finally Divorced 8/29/12
“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”
cmego ( member #30346) posted at 12:04 PM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013
Yup....send a message that your computer had a hiccup.
me...BS, 46 years old.
Divorced
SBB ( member #35229) posted at 3:13 PM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013
She would understand what happened. I like the hiccups reference.
Don't see this as a dealbreaker - see it as an ice-breaker.
Oh OIAL - you're the Calamity Jane of Dating. Just be you, friend. I think its endearing.
Unless of course your note said "Fucktity Fuck Fuck Shit. Fuck."
Remember she has probably come across a few 'Mr Stallion Beefcake Mancandy's in OLD. *shudder*
I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!
ajsmom ( member #17460) posted at 3:17 PM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013
Please tell me you are journaling your escapades.
I can so see a sitcom about your experiences.
AJ's MOM
Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.
"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
One AMAZING DS - 34
Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 3:18 PM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013
It's never too late for damage control. "I logged in and was re-reading this and noticed that I sent part of it twice - not sure how that happened! sorry if it came across as weird or confusing" is a perfectly appropriate thing to send the next morning.
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
gahurts ( member #33699) posted at 4:33 PM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013
Please tell me you are journaling your escapades.
I can so see a sitcom about your experiences.
"Everyone Loves OIAL"
Tonight at 7 on the WB!
"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie
thyme2go ( member #12908) posted at 4:52 PM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013
Yup....send a message that your computer had a hiccup.
But it did not.
-t2g
BH - no longer 50
3 DD's - (32, 28 and 21)
Divorced on 8/6/09
OnceInALifetime (original poster member #26023) posted at 5:53 PM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013
OK, riddle me this. After my inane response to her message, she responded with not another message, but a smile (similar to match's wink feature).
Translation?
Well, the ball's in her court. I asked her some questions, and a smile is not a response.
Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 5:55 PM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013
Does Match show whether the message was read? Maybe she needs to time to respond but wanted to acknowledge that she read it?
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
She11ybeanz ( member #27457) posted at 7:01 PM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013
"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"
ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12
cayc ( member #21964) posted at 7:24 PM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013
Well, the ball's in her court. I asked her some questions, and a smile is not a response.
Well if you want to be tit for tat about dating I guess. But if you're interested, message her again. (And fwiw, a smile is a response, just not the one you wanted).
gahurts ( member #33699) posted at 7:56 PM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013
I would take a smile to mean that she liked what she read.
Sometimes you don't know what to say but you want to respond to let the other person know that you are still engaged inthe conversation. That's how I take this.
"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie
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