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Combating bitterness

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BrokenDaisy posted 6/27/2013 11:09 AM

My goal from the start has been to never turn into an angry bitter person. I've gone through the anger/rage stages but managed to never be bitter.

Bitterness is creeping up on me. So wise NB'ers tips on combating this?

I don't want fucktards actions to define the rest of my life. I've moved on in so many ways, why can't I let go of the injustice/unfairness of it all?.

Until now I protected him for our son's sake but lately I've been just spilling my guts to anyone who'd listen. I'm sick of being made out to be the awful wife and his reputation stays squeaky clean but darn it I don't want to be the bitter victim who bad-mouths her abuser every chance she gets. I don't want to be that person.

Just one more month and in-house separation is over. I just need to hang on a little longer. He's attacked me with all he's got today. Hence my mood. NPD's suck


gahurts posted 6/27/2013 11:15 AM

In-House separation sucks!! I did it for 7 months and it was hell.

It will be easier to relax and feel less angry and bitter once he leaves. Focus ont eh 180 and NC comnpletely except to discuss finances and children.


want_to_forgive posted 6/27/2013 12:45 PM

I totally agree with gahurts, in house separation is a nightmare! Once you get some distance from him it will be much easier to focus on what makes you happy, rather than what makes you want to take a frying pan to his head.

Hang in there!

Newlease posted 6/27/2013 13:38 PM

How long have you been doing in-house separation? I can't imagine how difficult that would be. I don't think you'll be able to start to let go of the bitterness until you put some physical space between you.

Sending strength and peace.


c6284x posted 6/27/2013 14:44 PM

If you talk about it to others who have been been betrayed you will not seem bitter. I know myself I was not a good shoulder to cry on for people who have been wronged, I always thought they should just move on. Now after being demolished by a cheating wife, I actually like hearing others stories. I can relate on a very personal level.

BrokenDaisy posted 6/27/2013 14:49 PM

Thanks everyone! Hopefully I won't stay bitter then after this whole mess is done. I want to start new and not be tethered to this. I'm so ready to move on.

Newlease we've been in the same house since dday. In separate rooms since dday but went through false recoveries (wanted to see full change before I allow him back in the room. It never happened). I filed for divorce in November 2012. Due to some difficulties with the lawyers it's been prolonged so we've been stuck. Still don't have a court date. It's not a mandated in-house separation (not sure how law works in other countries) but it's been necessary due to financial situation. However stbxwh starts a new job soon and thus we'll be free from this prison. It gets harder the closer my freedom comes. I just want out now!

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