We have a lot of loss to mourn if we are on SI, in my opinion. I've asked this question of several people, because I finally know the level of deceit that was in our house when Happy Pants (formerly Perv) was here. I know all of that and yet I just cry. I see happiness in the world, I can't get away from romance and couples, but I can't get away from this sadness, either.
Some people have said it's because it's life that's lost...in dreams of the future and a life we thought would be here when tomorrow came.
What you say, Dindy, is basically what he told me...that I was not exciting enough to him in the sack, so he messed up all of our lives to go and find that excitement outside of our M rather than work on it like I begged to. When he finally mentioned this, he already had OW in his pocket. He was silent for a long time about what he felt and wife be damned, fixed it himself.
Like you, he said horrible and insulting things to me, but only after he had an OW to give him the courage.
He told me the one time he was happy in M was when DD came, but people we know on both sides say that's not right and I have many pictures to say that, too.
I feel like you where I do not wish him luck, but I do know that he won't get what he thinks he can with OW because it's from inside him and he won't face it. He will change the people in his life and ruin theirs and never fix it.
He has siblings who are various types of addicts who do the same thing and spend the time blaming the world and all that's wrong and not themselves.
I, too am five months out, though a year and a half alone. And yes, I too have the emotions, it's terrible. IC said I should be better with them, but the tears will come or the grief and anger comes out of nowhere.
I had it at work today and almost could not speak. And the place is full of happy people, kids and uninvolved or married people who walk around singing or making small talk that I just don't have (it's a place full of school music teachers). It felt like life was mocking me again.
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.