Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-

SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: thisfnsucks (46016)

User Topic: Self therapy? I saw the OM today from afar.
2married2quit
♂ 36555
Member # 36555
Sad  Posted: 1:10 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I guess I'm really chicken shit, but I did see the OM from afar. Hadn't seen him in over a year. Last time we spoke was in Nov after DDAY.

The luck, I turned into an area near where they worked (he still works there) and he just happened to drive by. He went to grab a bite. I parked from afar and saw him. Not once did he see me. I have to admit I was shaking in my pants. Why? Fear? Anger? Sick feelings? But all I saw was a man that was non-threatening, my old friend, the guy he's always been. As I drove out, I made sure I was going the same direction as he so he ended up behind me. I was in my FWW's car so he HAD TO HAD SEEN IT. I've got tints, figured it be an eye opener or a haunting memory for him if.

I was so nervous the whole time but after I drove off a sense of calm did come over me. My brain is getting the message that it is all done, gone and in the past.


I do sometimes wish I could speak to him. I'm not sure if this is good or bad?

Anyone ever done this or were wanting to reconnect with OM months after DDAY?


BS - Me 43 WS - Her 41
DDAY - June 2012 (found the texts)
DDAY2 - Next Day (found out who) EA
TT- till 9/2012 (some PA)
Married 20yrs. 2kids
Status: in careful R. Sometimes spinning our wheels

Posts: 1446 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: USA
Knowing
♀ 37044
Member # 37044
Default  Posted: 4:04 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Trigger: You're just past/in A season.

I would be inclined to tell you to not give the OM another thought, the A doesn't have anything to do with him. He could have been anyone.

Since the OM was your friend I wonder if there isn't some more healing that needs to happen there. You were doubly betrayed.


Me: BW, Him: fWH
Together 12 years
My EA (?) 2005-2011
His STA/PA: D-day: 19/09/12
TT: 08/12/12

We are in R.


Posts: 698 | Registered: Oct 2012
2married2quit
♂ 36555
Member # 36555
Default  Posted: 4:34 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Knowing - Yes, there is more healing. He wasn't suppose to "go for it". And yes, A season has had me take a few steps back in recouping. But seeing him does help a bit. Just a bit. You are right though, the more I saw him from afar, the more I realized it was my FWW's fault. She started it, she manipulated him and she made things happen. He went along with it. Dumbass!


BS - Me 43 WS - Her 41
DDAY - June 2012 (found the texts)
DDAY2 - Next Day (found out who) EA
TT- till 9/2012 (some PA)
Married 20yrs. 2kids
Status: in careful R. Sometimes spinning our wheels

Posts: 1446 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: USA
2married2quit
♂ 36555
Member # 36555
Default  Posted: 10:44 AM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

btw - for some reason seeing OM from afar helped me. It took away some sort of edge from the anxiety. Made me realize how much the A was NOT about me. It wasn't even about him either. It was all about WW. How sad.


BS - Me 43 WS - Her 41
DDAY - June 2012 (found the texts)
DDAY2 - Next Day (found out who) EA
TT- till 9/2012 (some PA)
Married 20yrs. 2kids
Status: in careful R. Sometimes spinning our wheels

Posts: 1446 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 4

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
adultry
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.