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Self therapy? I saw the OM today from afar.

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2married2quit posted 6/27/2013 13:10 PM

I guess I'm really chicken shit, but I did see the OM from afar. Hadn't seen him in over a year. Last time we spoke was in Nov after DDAY.

The luck, I turned into an area near where they worked (he still works there) and he just happened to drive by. He went to grab a bite. I parked from afar and saw him. Not once did he see me. I have to admit I was shaking in my pants. Why? Fear? Anger? Sick feelings? But all I saw was a man that was non-threatening, my old friend, the guy he's always been. As I drove out, I made sure I was going the same direction as he so he ended up behind me. I was in my FWW's car so he HAD TO HAD SEEN IT. I've got tints, figured it be an eye opener or a haunting memory for him if.

I was so nervous the whole time but after I drove off a sense of calm did come over me. My brain is getting the message that it is all done, gone and in the past.

I do sometimes wish I could speak to him. I'm not sure if this is good or bad?

Anyone ever done this or were wanting to reconnect with OM months after DDAY?

Knowing posted 6/27/2013 16:04 PM

Trigger: You're just past/in A season.

I would be inclined to tell you to not give the OM another thought, the A doesn't have anything to do with him. He could have been anyone.

Since the OM was your friend I wonder if there isn't some more healing that needs to happen there. You were doubly betrayed.

2married2quit posted 6/27/2013 16:34 PM

Knowing - Yes, there is more healing. He wasn't suppose to "go for it". And yes, A season has had me take a few steps back in recouping. But seeing him does help a bit. Just a bit. You are right though, the more I saw him from afar, the more I realized it was my FWW's fault. She started it, she manipulated him and she made things happen. He went along with it. Dumbass!

2married2quit posted 6/28/2013 10:44 AM

btw - for some reason seeing OM from afar helped me. It took away some sort of edge from the anxiety. Made me realize how much the A was NOT about me. It wasn't even about him either. It was all about WW. How sad.

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