I think the most important thing I have learned from these forums, is the reason people cheat.
My WH blamed me for everything.
But then I realized that he was cheating because of his own depression.
He mentioned to me that he has no self confidence and can't believe how strong and confident I am.
Well.. Self confidence comes from...yourself.
I can't help or make my husband have confidence in himself.
And puchasing prostitutes (which is what my husband is STILL doing) is not how normal people get confidence.
It's like how some people do drugs or drink. It's makes them feel good. It's like self medication for some deeper problem they have with themselves.
The best thing that someone commented on for me from this forum, when I first shared my story is this: you are responsible for 50% of the marriage. He's responsible for 100% of the affair.
I don't think you're a crazy stalker. The other thing I learned from my ordeal, is I WiSH so badly that I had snooped when my gut was telling me something was up.
Women's intuition is powerful.
Here's a tip. If you have Verizon wireless, get your husbands permission to put integrated messaging on his phone. All of his text messages will be forwarded to your phone, tablet or computer.
If he's honest, he will give you permission. And you can feel a little bit better.
Good luck to you through this ordeal.