SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

TattoodChinaDoll posted 6/28/2013 01:13 AM

I was talking with a friend tonight and I don't remember how the topic evolved to this but I think the conversation helped me verbalize what I want. He said it perfectly...I want a partner. For the longest time I begged STBX to be my KISA like he was for OW. I don't want a knight. You know why? Because I don't need saving. There is nothing about me that needs to be saved. I am not worthless. I don't need him to ride up on his horse and show me what I'm worth. I know what I'm worth. And I don't want a knight...I want a partner that can share in my worth as I share in his. I want a partner who works with me, for us. There are the general things that are needed...similar likes, dislikes, morals, goals, etc. And not telling another woman he loves her (that would be a biggie ) or the other stuff you only share with a wife...but I digress.

Obviously, I'm not saying I'm going to go write an OLD profile right now. This is future talk. In the past I always said he defined me. He made me who I was. It's never been true. If I was who he wanted me to be, I'd be posting in Recon and still hoping he would change...that maybe I could love him into changing. I had it wrong....I had to love me into changing.

[This message edited by TattoodChinaDoll at 1:13 AM, June 28th (Friday)]

Bluebird26 posted 6/28/2013 01:20 AM

Good for you TCD.

The future is looking bright

TattoodChinaDoll posted 6/28/2013 09:15 AM

Yeah...once you realize how someone has been bringing you down, it makes the future seem very bright. Even though STBX and I had so much in common, I really see how superficial it was compared to how he wanted to treat my soul and who I was as a person.

[This message edited by TattoodChinaDoll at 9:28 AM, June 28th (Friday)]

Kajem posted 6/28/2013 09:27 AM

fallingquickly posted 6/28/2013 14:33 PM

(((TCD)))

I think this is my favorite post of yours ever.

TattoodChinaDoll posted 6/28/2013 16:30 PM

You mean the swallowing weirdly and getting bread up my nose and in my sinuses...then having to blow bread out of my nose wasn't your favorite? Hahaha.

ButterflyGirl posted 6/28/2013 16:53 PM

Amen girl. My mantra for dating is that I don't need a savior, and I don't want to save anyone else. It's all about support and love and respect. I agree this is one of my favorite posts of yours ever, well, since I seemed to have missed the bread being blown out of your nose one.

fallingquickly posted 6/28/2013 17:53 PM

I don't think I read that one. I have to say if I had it would probably be my second favorite.

TattoodChinaDoll posted 6/28/2013 18:06 PM

Don't worry. Really dumb things seem to happen to me but are really entertaining for others. Something else will come up to share.

Took the kids to the beach today and managed to bring all three back alive so I'm feeling good about being on my own, too. I've always been the primary caretaker and mostly all by myself. But some things are more difficult to do by myself. I just need to be prepared.

SBB posted 6/28/2013 21:49 PM

<<round of applause>>

I want someone who values and respects themselves as much as I value and respect myself. The rest will all fall into place.

I too don't need saving nor do I need to be completed.