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TattoodChinaDoll (original poster member #34602) posted at 7:13 AM on Friday, June 28th, 2013
I was talking with a friend tonight and I don't remember how the topic evolved to this but I think the conversation helped me verbalize what I want. He said it perfectly...I want a partner. For the longest time I begged STBX to be my KISA like he was for OW. I don't want a knight. You know why? Because I don't need saving. There is nothing about me that needs to be saved. I am not worthless. I don't need him to ride up on his horse and show me what I'm worth. I know what I'm worth. And I don't want a knight...I want a partner that can share in my worth as I share in his. I want a partner who works with me, for us. There are the general things that are needed...similar likes, dislikes, morals, goals, etc. And not telling another woman he loves her (that would be a biggie 
) or the other stuff you only share with a wife...but I digress.
Obviously, I'm not saying I'm going to go write an OLD profile right now. This is future talk. In the past I always said he defined me. He made me who I was. It's never been true. If I was who he wanted me to be, I'd be posting in Recon and still hoping he would change...that maybe I could love him into changing. I had it wrong....I had to love me into changing.
[This message edited by TattoodChinaDoll at 1:13 AM, June 28th (Friday)]
Me: 35
WH: 37 TimeToManUp
Married: 14 years, together 19 years
3 daughters: 12, 8, 6, and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011
This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.
Bluebird26 ( member #36445) posted at 7:20 AM on Friday, June 28th, 2013
Good for you TCD.
The future is looking bright
Me: BW
Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.
Life's good.
TattoodChinaDoll (original poster member #34602) posted at 3:15 PM on Friday, June 28th, 2013
Yeah...once you realize how someone has been bringing you down, it makes the future seem very bright. Even though STBX and I had so much in common, I really see how superficial it was compared to how he wanted to treat my soul and who I was as a person.
[This message edited by TattoodChinaDoll at 9:28 AM, June 28th (Friday)]
Me: 35
WH: 37 TimeToManUp
Married: 14 years, together 19 years
3 daughters: 12, 8, 6, and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011
This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.
Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 3:27 PM on Friday, June 28th, 2013
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
fallingquickly ( member #36599) posted at 8:33 PM on Friday, June 28th, 2013
(((TCD)))
I think this is my favorite post of yours ever.
Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)
I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken
There came a point when it was too painful to love him, so I stopped.
TattoodChinaDoll (original poster member #34602) posted at 10:30 PM on Friday, June 28th, 2013
You mean the swallowing weirdly and getting bread up my nose and in my sinuses...then having to blow bread out of my nose wasn't your favorite? Hahaha.
Me: 35
WH: 37 TimeToManUp
Married: 14 years, together 19 years
3 daughters: 12, 8, 6, and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011
This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.
ButterflyGirl ( member #38377) posted at 10:53 PM on Friday, June 28th, 2013
Amen girl. My mantra for dating is that I don't need a savior, and I don't want to save anyone else. It's all about support and love and respect. I agree this is one of my favorite posts of yours ever, well, since I seemed to have missed the bread being blown out of your nose one. 
fallingquickly ( member #36599) posted at 11:53 PM on Friday, June 28th, 2013
I don't think I read that one. I have to say if I had it would probably be my second favorite. 
Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)
I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken
There came a point when it was too painful to love him, so I stopped.
TattoodChinaDoll (original poster member #34602) posted at 12:06 AM on Saturday, June 29th, 2013
Don't worry. Really dumb things seem to happen to me but are really entertaining for others. Something else will come up to share.
Took the kids to the beach today and managed to bring all three back alive so I'm feeling good about being on my own, too. I've always been the primary caretaker and mostly all by myself. But some things are more difficult to do by myself. I just need to be prepared.
Me: 35
WH: 37 TimeToManUp
Married: 14 years, together 19 years
3 daughters: 12, 8, 6, and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011
This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.
SBB ( member #35229) posted at 3:49 AM on Saturday, June 29th, 2013
<<round of applause>>
I want someone who values and respects themselves as much as I value and respect myself. The rest will all fall into place.
I too don't need saving nor do I need to be completed.
I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!
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