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Newest Member: Howtotrust (61551)

User Topic: ...and now the in-laws are chiming in on Reconciliation
♀ 39495
Member # 39495
Default  Posted: 2:19 AM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage MIL is being very supportive and actually said to me that sometimes "divorce is warranted"...this is coming from a very conservative, Christian woman. Meanwhile my FIL is emailing me, telling me that we should forget about our own wants and desires and concentrate on our children...sacrificing ourselves for the "greater good". My IC keeps asking me if my FIL cheated on his wife...because he sure seems to think its ok that his son is a cheater. Next time I see my FIL, I'm going to ask him if he would encourage his daughter to stay with a man that cheated on her with over 4 different women...because that is essentially what he is telling ME to do!!!

Me: BS, 43
Him: WH, 40
D-Day #1 March 8, 2013 (EA/PA)
D-Day #2 sometime in March...multiple ONS with 'lonely women' from Craigslist and Ashley Madison
Two beautiful boys, ages 11 and 7

Posts: 30 | Registered: Jun 2013
♀ 34319
Member # 34319
Default  Posted: 2:24 AM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ignore that chatter- it is like static keeping you from the important stuff- WHat you want, what your boundaries and requirements are in a marriage. Nail that and stick to it. Good luck.

[This message edited by OnAnIsland at 2:24 AM, June 28th (Friday)]

D-day: Christmas 2011
D-day 2: 3/28/2013

Married for over 15 years
2 beautiful sons

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou

Posts: 1486 | Registered: Dec 2011
♀ 36401
Member # 36401
Default  Posted: 8:55 AM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I keep hearing,"There can't be three people in R" There can't be four or five either. R is about you two and if you want To R what someone says is not important.

Posts: 283 | Registered: Aug 2012
♀ 34353
Member # 34353
Default  Posted: 9:21 AM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

tell them to mind their own business

Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA and 10/28/15 NEW dday.
Just surviving.

Posts: 1849 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: midwest now.
♂ 34478
Member # 34478
Default  Posted: 9:31 AM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I disagree about ignoring. Support is important. Where you draw that from is your choice. Choose wisely.

My take from the information provided. Your FIL is giving common, yet bad, advice. Given the disparity in the responses from each of you IL's it does make me curious if there was infidelity. Could just be a difference of opinion - lord knows there is plenty of that on this topic.

In the end you get to make the call, however listening to people who have cared about you and you have been able to depend on it just wise. Your gut is normally pretty good also.

take care...

Posts: 1520 | Registered: Jan 2012
Topic Posts: 5

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