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eyenight posted 6/28/2013 11:00 AM

Things in the relationship front are moving a long nicely. Bf asked me to help decorate his place like pick out furniture and stuff. He said eventually I would be moving in. Then he asked me to move in. I have to put that on hold since I'm in the middle of my lease but I think I can get out if it. Pretty much I'll have to get someone to take over my lease with management approval.
Last night bf muttered something under his breath. If I heard correctly. It was Im in love with you. I am totally taken by surprise.
Bf daughter is coming to live with him in a few months. He freaked out aut it a little. I told him I'm fine wth it. After she gets to know me I have no problem doing girlie stuff with her. Eve I

FaithFool posted 6/28/2013 12:29 PM

I'm glad you're excited but I have to admit it worries me that you don't even mention your son in this post.

Blending families is very challenging and not to be taken lightly.

Why is your BF freaked out about his daughter coming to live with him?

[This message edited by FaithFool at 12:30 PM, June 28th (Friday)]

eyenight posted 6/28/2013 13:32 PM

I'm not worried about son at all they get along great. Bf takes son out once a week to do guy stuff. Son loves it.
Bf daughter is a little bit of a trouble maker. But what 16 year old isn't. She's had it a little rough. The x wife is doing a lot of time in jail and daughter has been living with grandparents until bf could get things undercontrol. Its going to take time for daughter to adjust and stuff .

FaithFool posted 6/28/2013 18:46 PM

OK, so your plan is to introduce your little guy into a potentially toxic living situation with a potentially hostile teen who has been exposed to some fairly intense bad parenting.

It's one thing to have BF take him out to do guy stuff, and quite another to live with everyone together under one roof.

What's your work schedule like? Who is going to be doing the child care when you're not there? Is the daughter getting counselling at all?

If I were you I'd be thinking about all of this very carefully. It's way more than just breaking a lease.

persevere posted 6/28/2013 18:56 PM

Blending families is not easy under the best of circumstances. Throw a troubled teenager in the mix, and it makes it extremely challenging. Definitely take it slow.

If this guy is for real, he will understand and realize how important it is that he take on only one huge life change at a time.

There is nothing wrong with taking your time, especially when there are kids involved.

eyenight posted 6/29/2013 00:13 AM

I work 2nd shift. I am actually keeping my sitter and sending my son there on days I work. The daughter isn't as bad as he made it sound. I got him to clarify troubled. I.guess she's a.straight.a.student. from what he has said she isn't troubled just the.situation she's in now is.troubled.
I'm not planning for a while. It's.months away.
I told him that she needs to get settled in first and slowly have my son and I integrate into the mix. Which he agrees with. I told him we need to do this moving in thing carefully. There is going to be 2 kids in the house which are 12 years a part. If its not done right the daughter might resent my son and me because she will think she's being pushed away or taken frogranted and being replaced.

InnerLight posted 6/29/2013 00:41 AM

I'm happy for you that you've started a new relationship with a caring man. He sounds a bit assumptive that you will move in though.

You have had such a rocky time, and had to live in less than ideal situations, I wish for you and your son a period of stability and independence while you very slowly work things out w the new guy. What about taking a whole year for your relationship to grow before all the inter-dependence of living together?

FaithFool posted 6/29/2013 00:49 AM

I'm in the middle of my lease but I think I can get out if it. Pretty much I'll have to get someone to take over my lease with management approval.

eyenight, this ^^^ is what you initially said. That implied that you were going to try and do this asap.

Glad to hear you're going to take your time.

tabitha95 posted 6/29/2013 11:29 AM

He hasn't looked you in the eye and told you he loves you, but asked you to move in?

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