SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

determined99 posted 6/28/2013 11:12 AM

I have decided to tell the 70 year old husband of the "woman" who slept with my 38 yr old. husband for over a year. However, he is retired and has no access to anything electronic. Here is my question: Is there any way I can send a certified letter and guarantee that he signs for it and not his wife? I have sent certified letters at my work and anyone who answers the door can sign. Does anyone know a way to guarantee this letter gets in his hands?

toomanyregrets posted 6/28/2013 11:17 AM

Send it "signature required, return reciept requested".
Your local post office can take care of it for you.

mainlyinpain posted 6/28/2013 11:18 AM

I think the USPS has an option to send certified mail and add a return receipt with restricted signature. I seem to remember a box you check for only the addressee signing for it and not their agent. You can check online and see who signs for it. Call your post office and check to be sure. Another option would be to use a local messenger service and tell them to only deliver to addressee.

solus sto posted 6/28/2013 14:04 PM

Yes, you can send it in a way that requires his signature.

That said, I'm just not quite buying that a 70-year-old, by virtue of being older and retired, has no access to anything electronic. Every 70-year-old retiree I know has and routinely uses email. Most text. All use phones.

The, "He has no access to anything electronic" sounds like a story cooked up by OW and WS to dissuade you from bringing their affair to light. I'd take it with a HUGE grain of salt.

It's very common to be told lies like this. WSs and OPs will go to great lengths to protect themselves.

In my case, the OBS did have a different last name from OW. It took about 20 seconds for someone (here, in Investigative Tips) to help me find his last name. From there, it was a very simple matter to find an email address.

I'd assume that he DOES have email, is on Facebook, and is otherwise accessible online. If you can't locate him, pop into Investigative Tips. Someone will help you.

If you do determine he's not online, there are other ways to tell him. Yes, registered/return receipt is one. But there are also simpler, more direct approaches, such as making a phone call during the workday---when he, ostensibly, is at home, and his wife is at work. You can tell him on the phone, or you can arrange to meet briefly--at which time you can provide evidence, if he'd like it.

Good luck--you're doing the right thing, even though it's hard and it hurts.

Chicky posted 6/28/2013 14:57 PM

solus it could very well be true. As an example, my church has about 125 members. 30 of them are aged 65+. Whenever emails are sent to the church body, there are 2 younger members that make a phone call to ensure they got the information. I think it's sad that they are limiting themselves out of fear, but they are. As a result, others have to be inconvenienced to make sure they are in the loop.

eta: What's worse, 9 of them admit they do in fact own a computer but they only use it to play solitaire and whatever other games came with their system.

[This message edited by Chicky at 2:58 PM, June 28th (Friday)]