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circleoflife posted 6/28/2013 18:00 PM

What do you consider rug sweeping?
I don't know if what is going on with me right now is being considered rug sweeping? My brain is fried, my heart aches, my stomach is turning, and not much sleep. I am in a daze, sometimes.
What are your experiences/thoughts on what would be rug sweeping?

doesitgetbetter posted 6/28/2013 18:07 PM

Rug sweeping is a general letting go. You don't talk about the details, you don't talk about your feelings, you don't talk about anything but the kids and weather basically. Sort of the "our life is fine as long as I don't bring up finances, infidelity, or how little I trust him". THAT is totally rug sweeping.

Taking a break for a short period of time because you need a breather, totally fine. The problem comes when the "break" becomes the "norm".

doggiediva posted 6/29/2013 09:13 AM

To me rug sweeping is when you are continually being asked to stuff down all of your bad feelings if/when you are in the same room as your WH, put a mask on, and treat him like nothing happened to you or the M...

A case of denial at its worst....

It is rug sweeping when you have to worry about what to bring up and what not to bring up when the two of you talk..

I don't bring up any more A related questions because I have no interest in fixing the marriage..

As a result of WH's lack of remorse and lack of desire to work on himself to figure out why he lies and cheats ( a form of rug sweeping ), WH doesn't get to enjoy the benefits of being married to me..

I am doing a 180 in the sense that I don't do anything for WH...No sex, no physical affection... I don't do his laundry or give him gifts..

I don't make new purchases for the house (furniture, art, etc), because I have no plan for staying...

I carry on with my own schedule separate from WH's and I avoid WH if at all possible..

All of the above is the result of WH's lack of respect for me and my pain/devastation in the aftermath of his A..

[This message edited by doggiediva at 9:30 AM, June 29th (Saturday)]

Pippy posted 6/29/2013 16:29 PM

rug sweeping - when the WS doesn't want to discuss what they did, saying it doesn't do any good to discuss it.

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