Hun, what you are giving him is a gift. Heck, you're giving him a couple of gifts.
First, and foremost, you are giving him a chance to begin, by taking this SMALL first step, to earn your trust back. Lets face it, you used to trust him, probably never gave that a second thought. He NUKED that. Between the betrayal of the A and the lies and trickle truth that followed, he just plain threw that trust away.
That you are willing to give him the chance to earn your trust back after that is a very generous gift.
The poly my friend, is a gift that helps him begin to achieve HIS goal of gaining your trust back. It is a first step, it needs to be passed, of course, but then it needs to be followed up with consistent integrity, faithful actions, all that good stuff he vowed in the first place,
It is a fact based test, he simply has to answer truth to some questions.
H did it. An experioenced examiner has talked to tons of guys like your husband and my husband. This is really just another day at the office for him. It will be private and quiet and dignified ( you didn't make the appointment with Jerry Springer, did you
)
It isn't humiliation or torture, and it is a really fast track way for you to KNOW KNOW KNOW KNOW KNOW that you have the truth.
You're sweet and kind to worry about his feelings, but let him worry about yours on this one. That can be another gift you give him.
[This message edited by JustWow at 8:29 PM, June 28th (Friday)]