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An emotion wreck

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Running the Race posted 6/29/2013 10:49 AM

My story has taken about four years to get to this point. My exwife just moved out of the house last Saturday night. This is the first weekend she is without the kids(she left the city, I didn't ask where she was going). I love my kids, i feel that they give me purpose, but i feel like a shell of a father right now. earlier this week i started to not talk to her because she wanted to be divorced, living in another house, but still leaning on me for friendship and emotional support. I only want to discuss the kids and splitting up cars,etc.. I told her I couldn't do that, because It would hurt harder when she finds someone new.
Sorry if this post is all over the place, I feel sick to my stomach, I've know her for 17 years, married for 13, tried to work it out with counseling for about 6 months. I don't hate her, if anything I feel my heart is full of love and pain for her. She was my best friend and wife. I'm not sure why I'm posting, I guess for therapeutic reasons.

[This message edited by Running the Race at 10:51 AM, June 29th (Saturday)]

Ashland13 posted 6/29/2013 11:38 AM

I'm sorry, Race, but also think you are on the right track.

It was told to me that Happy Pants "fired me" from being his spouse and it sounds like that's being done to you, also. It's helped me a little to work on detaching, but has been so long it's not easy to develop new thought patterns.

It sounds kind of like she wants to hold you at arms length and control contact with you, but that's not fair to you.

BillyinArkansas posted 6/29/2013 11:47 AM

I'm an emotional wreck right now too. She told me about the affair less than a week ago and we are separated, she says she needs time to figure out if/when she can come back and face me, or if she wants to, or if she would try and fail to stay and hurt me again. Right now I'm hurting so bad and just trying to focus on getting my daughter "to come back and stay with me while my wife gets her life figured out."

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