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Chrysalis123 posted 6/29/2013 21:55 PM

I met a man on a OLD site about 4 months ago. He is 9 years older than me, and lives 5.5 hours away.

Our first meet up was in a big city half way between us. Next meeting was about a month later and he invited me to his area to attend a banquet he had organized for his business. He put me up in a hotel. COMPLETE gentleman and everything he says matches what he does.

Third meeting I drove to big city. And 4th of July he is coming here and staying in a hotel for several nights. He is very respectful of the fact I have a DD16 with me. He also apologizes he cannot get over here more often, and I believe him because I know in his business this time of year is his busiest.

His wife of 30 years passed over a year ago. He appears to be a honorable man with a good job, and lifelong friends.

We either text or talk on the phone every day.

Nothing physical yet, not even holding hands. Oh, we do hug..

I am not used to this. A regular nice man after 20 years of hell (and ongoing trauma) from NPD asshat. High drama and all that goes with that. My picker was so broken then.

I am in my early 50's. I am also shy and an introvert. So our conversations are almost always chit-chat style.

How do people my age and temparament (both shy) move beyond this chit-chat stage? There is no history, no family connections between us...arghhh.

OnceInALifetime posted 6/29/2013 22:21 PM

I've had dates just fade on me because I've been shy, romantically speaking. In retrospect, I wish I just went for the kiss earlier, but I had so much concern about freaking out my dates.

But, we were *dating* after all. Asking for a kiss at the end of a third (or even second) date is not such a wild and crazy thing.

I think a great way to break the "chit chat" ice would be to break the physical ice, at least where kissing and holding hands are concerned. If you can muster it, just ask him to kiss you. I'm sure it will make his day.

Kajem posted 6/29/2013 22:33 PM

(((((Chrysalis)))))

No advice, but I am happy for you.... just wanted to let you know.

Hugs,

K

missherlots posted 6/29/2013 22:58 PM

just live the moment. Follow your heart and pay attention in your feelings. Live the today and now. stop thinking about what is next. the next might never come in.
Be mindful of your thinking and what you feel, it will guide you to the next step. If you think about what you should or not do, it will bring you anxiety and ruin a special moment. Just be yourself with no regrets!!! my 2 cents.

Sad in AZ posted 6/29/2013 23:25 PM

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