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Newest Member: infiniti (61794)

User Topic: Well....
♀ 27148
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 9:55 PM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I met a man on a OLD site about 4 months ago. He is 9 years older than me, and lives 5.5 hours away.

Our first meet up was in a big city half way between us. Next meeting was about a month later and he invited me to his area to attend a banquet he had organized for his business. He put me up in a hotel. COMPLETE gentleman and everything he says matches what he does.

Third meeting I drove to big city. And 4th of July he is coming here and staying in a hotel for several nights. He is very respectful of the fact I have a DD16 with me. He also apologizes he cannot get over here more often, and I believe him because I know in his business this time of year is his busiest.

His wife of 30 years passed over a year ago. He appears to be a honorable man with a good job, and lifelong friends.

We either text or talk on the phone every day.

Nothing physical yet, not even holding hands. Oh, we do hug..

I am not used to this. A regular nice man after 20 years of hell (and ongoing trauma) from NPD asshat. High drama and all that goes with that. My picker was so broken then.

I am in my early 50's. I am also shy and an introvert. So our conversations are almost always chit-chat style.

How do people my age and temparament (both shy) move beyond this chit-chat stage? There is no history, no family connections between us...arghhh.

Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver

Posts: 4717 | Registered: Jan 2010
♂ 26023
Member # 26023
Default  Posted: 10:21 PM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've had dates just fade on me because I've been shy, romantically speaking. In retrospect, I wish I just went for the kiss earlier, but I had so much concern about freaking out my dates.

But, we were *dating* after all. Asking for a kiss at the end of a third (or even second) date is not such a wild and crazy thing.

I think a great way to break the "chit chat" ice would be to break the physical ice, at least where kissing and holding hands are concerned. If you can muster it, just ask him to kiss you. I'm sure it will make his day.

BH, now divorced

Posts: 3529 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: New England
♀ 36134
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 10:33 PM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


No advice, but I am happy for you.... just wanted to let you know.



I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 6708 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
♂ 30591
Member # 30591
Default  Posted: 10:58 PM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

just live the moment. Follow your heart and pay attention in your feelings. Live the today and now. stop thinking about what is next. the next might never come in.
Be mindful of your thinking and what you feel, it will guide you to the next step. If you think about what you should or not do, it will bring you anxiety and ruin a special moment. Just be yourself with no regrets!!! my 2 cents.

Pain and suffering is part of life, but I choose to feel love and compassion for all people excluding no one.

Posts: 96 | Registered: Jan 2011
Sad in AZ
♀ 24239
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 11:25 PM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
Him: WXH-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

Posts: 25302 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Arizona
Topic Posts: 5

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