Example, yesterday she came home from her friends house upset that we don't have a pet. Crying, etc... And of course the IM BORED complaints, even after play dates, pool, park, amusement park...
I think she needs more NOs, what else do you all make your kids do (1 hour of reading a day, chores... ) how much home time do you all have?
Dd is 7 & has been a great kid, super nice, cares about others, but this year she got an attitude... Don't know if that's from school, or just part of growing up, or living with siblings & not getting 100% of my attention like she used to.
[This message edited by Gottagetthrough at 10:08 AM, June 30th (Sunday)]
When we were younger my mom certainly wasn't scrambling to find something for us to do. We went outside, we coloured, I read a lot and we had our friends. I wanted to spend more time with her. Prob why I over-due it with my two.
I fear we are raising entitled kids who need constant stimulation.
At some point today I will say (or yell), you are on your own for the next hour. Find something to do that you enjoy that doesn't involve the garden hose and dirt!
I can't think of even one time that either of my DDs moped around saying they were bored. They seemed to know how to keep themselves productively engaged even in childhood.
And YOYO translation You're On Your Own is a favorite term in this house.... especially for dinner.
Very very boring chores.
Trust me, no one was bored for long. Unless they were doing chores.
Thanks, mom! I've used this one with my kid! He's awfully good at amusing himself now.
I do make sure they have plenty to occupy themselves, though. There are books galore, art supplies, the computer (if they've earned that privilege), physical fitness (they have to do their fitness before they're allowed computer), and of course there's always "the backyard" in which they can play games or just sit & observe nature.
“Boredom comes from a boring mind.”
“Only boring people get bored.”
― Ruth Burke
“When people are bored, it is primarily with their own selves that they are bored.”
― Eric Hoffer
But it's funny, raising my own, I really didn't give them many chores and I wish I had because now they were are not only board, but messy.
At your kids age, we lived in a neighborhood that had lots of other kids their same age, they were messy (with the garden hose and dirt!lol), But I felt I had to work hard to keep them from being board and it was exhausting.
Now that they are driving they have more control over their lives and their boardom. I'm glad I'm not their entertainment director anymore. Go out and find something to do!
Hang in there until they are older. It does get better.
This can be difficult when they are that age. My oldest would say he was bored often when he was that age, what that really meant was my mind isn't being stimulated. So out would come the legos, with instructions to build something new, and to make up a story that went with it. I wouldn't see him for the next 3-6 hours. Seriously.
My DD on the other hand....I'm bored means pay attention to me. So I would do things like have her learn how to cook something, let her do the majority of it, with me instructing, and trying to do some laundry or something while overseeing.
Lets face it, summer break is too much down time for many kids anymore. I love the mandatory reading time, and chores. I am a big fan of these myself. I do still keep a list of Bigger to do chores, these are optional, but doing them, and doing them well will earn you cold hard cash. These include things like sanding the deck, restaining the deck, powerwashing side walks, cleaning the space between the windows and the screens, Cleaning the light fixtures. Weeding the flower beds, mowing, and weed eating. So some really big jobs, some kinda big jobs. The problem I have now is they are both teens, and unmotivated to do anything unless it benefits them. I alsmost wish I had the I'm bored problem again.
Also, now would be the time to get them involved in hobbies--anything! At that age I was already doing cross stitch and crocheting (fostered by my grandmother and aunt.) At age 8 I started birdwatching (my idea). I could spend hours out filling my 'life list' (yes, I'm a nerd. Nothing wrong with that ) I also started sewing my own clothes at age 8.
Remember--impressionable little minds...
[This message edited by Sad in AZ at 12:58 PM, July 1st (Monday)]
Growing up my brother and i couldnt those two words ' i'm bored' my mom would say " i can find something for you to do, vacuum the rooms, dust the living room.. Etc... Other times she would say go outside and find something to do, if you cant do that go take a nap...
She hated the summer time...
On the occassions that my kids complained to me they were bored, I gave them a chore or two to do. They rarely come back and complain that they're still bored and will find something to do on their own.
DD is and has always been a reader, so that's her "go to" activity when she isnt otherwise engaged with something family oriented or school related.
DS is more of a video game nut and I find that I have to actually limit this or he'd be on XBox or Playstation from the time he wakes up til the time he goes to sleep.
WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself in our home 10 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).
I edit often for clarity/typos.
My older kids are 9 and 5. My 5 yo is super independent, and it took her a month to deprogram from school (ie, play by herself for an hour). Our kids were done with school at the end of May, and it wasn't really until last week that she started playing by herself.
We really don't "make" our kids do anything, really. Chores are simply expected, because I'm not my kids' maid. Fine if they don't want to help, but even the 5 yo knows that help is a two way street. I also don't believe in using chores as punishment.
The 5 yo sort of reads (she did 4K this year), and sometimes the oldest will read 2 hours a day if he feels like it. Sometimes, not at all. We are also doing math, because it's a harder subject for him, and I don't want him forgetting everything he has learned.
Otherwise, we haven't done anything exciting. But, yet we are. Because of my work schedule during the school year, I don't get to spend much time with my kids. Last week, we had a picnic in our living room for lunch. The kids were thrilled with that and have asked for that again. Our budget needs to be a bit tighter-so we are doing things for cheap or free for the most part.
My kids haven't complained I'm not dropping a ton of money, and they've already said they want me to do the same thing again next summer.
That said, we are busy with activities. One kid has one major activity and a couple of camps. The other is in 3 different activities.
It also helps that I work with low income kids. I mean, really low income kids-where there are 9 people living in a two bedroom apartment. Or, there's not enough money for 3 square meals a day. Or the home life is unstable (baby daddy is out of the picture, grandparents are raising the kids because mom would rather be out with a boyfriend than be a parent..and mom has told her child that the man de jour will always be more important than the child). I do tell my kids about these families-so they don't take ours for granted, and so they understand why we give, and why I work one of my jobs.
If your youngest hasn't volunteered much, maybe this might a good time to look into it.
[This message edited by IRN2006 at 10:58 PM, July 1st (Monday)]
I think this has a few aspects of all your posts-- maybe more mommy & me time needed with this kid (she younger sibs who are potty training now, taking a lot of my time)
plus deprogramming from school
need for something like chores, plain old nos, etc
and just her personality. younger kid can play for an hour or so alone with toys, she's never done that. always needs people around
The other moms took them to museums, took them on a hike, tossed them in the backyard with a hose, etc.
The boys are all teens now, and nostalgic about Mom Camp. They get together and do this stuff on their own.
Or we make them do chores.
He never mentioned boredom again. However he still does help with the chores when he is bored, he likes to clean the car and stuff. lol
These comments are less now though, he is in the U13 paddling program at an aquatic club so he is paddling and swimming all summer. He comes home pretty tired.
I also got them involved in Boys and Girls Club and they were in summer sports.
They were really good but when I would hear "I am bored", I always told them "I am not your entertainer", so go find something to do with all your toys and books. Or go outside and play somemore. They really never got bored but sometimes.
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have left"
My oldest is a independent and likes to be alone unless she wants to be around you.
Look into City Rec sports if they have them there. We have swimming lessons, T-ball, Baseball, and others stuff.
Each child is different. And you will drive yourself nuts trying to keep all from being bored. Find out what they like as they get older and (now) get her involved.