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Yet Another DDay

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ShockedAndHurt posted 6/30/2013 12:34 PM

Ex WH just told me, in a "I am so proud of me, you should be too, look how hard I am trying" kind of way, that he had "given up all forms of porn"

Turns out that within a few weeks of him moving out (after Dday2) he went back to seeking out women on their webcams.

I am so pissed off. He told me repeatedly that he wasn't doing anything he shouldn't be, that he only ever thought of me etc etc.

I told him that webcams were absolutely unacceptable given his history of cyber sex etc. He said he knew that and that's why he had given it up *facepalm* Why did you start in the first place then??

He is such a complete arse. I told him there was no hope for him, he would never change.

It's such a shame as we were getting on really well. Just as friends, not trying to reconcile or anything, just co-parenting our two boys and spending time together as a family. I was pretty happy with the way things were. But now I know there were more secrets and lies and his private behaviour was almost as bad as pre-Dday1.

I wanted to believe he was genuinely remorseful, I shrugged off comments from people who don't know him who warned me he was playing me. I am such an idiot.

The way he came out with it tonight was just so shocking too. No guilt or remorse, just totally matter of fact, like he hadn't been doing anything wrong but was giving up an indulgence just for me

Arggghhhhhhhhhhhh!

[This message edited by ShockedAndHurt at 12:36 PM, June 30th (Sunday)]

Ashland13 posted 6/30/2013 12:47 PM

I'm sorry, SaH.

This happened for me, too, when I finally discovered that Happy Pants has a porn addiction. I could have learned to accept it with some boundaries, maybe, but his decision to lie to me began 20 years ago!

When I worked up the courage to talk about it, he was very matter-of-fact, looked me full in the face and gave a "Yup!" By then, he had done so much damage it was more the deception than the action, but he doesn't want to be bothered with psychology and won't let anyone in that way-thinks he knows it all and most everyone else is stupid-firstly and mostly, anyone who challenges him.

Happy Pants also wasted no time and created some of his cheating stuff right in our house while DD and I slept or were out. You can see pictures of our house on his profile pictures, where he put himself as "widower", but I'm not dead!

I'm sorry for your frustration, but at least you're blinders are off.

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