Have you "stumbled" across someone you may know from the outside world based on details from reading their posted information? It makes me nervous. This is the reason that I have not yet posted in the "My Story" section and did not give my location or too many details about my situation.
What are the odds that the OW/OM can discover us?
Thoughts? Scenarios? Am I just being paranoid?
"Better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie"
I think since we are 'anonymous' behind a computer screen, we forget sometimes that what we type is out there for all the world to see. I am so guilty of this.
When my BH and I were planning a g2g at our home, I was very surprised to learn that one of the people interested in attending lived about 20 minutes from us.
I share way too many personal details on here. I often have to check myself.
I don't think you're being paranoid at all. Maybe change a detail or two in your story, or be as vague as you can be while getting your story across, just to be safe.
I was concerned because early on I had suggested this site to WX - don't know for sure that he ever realized I was a member, but it was always in my mind that he could be lurking.
In the midst of the D I had a question that I needed some objective feedback to. I PM'd an experienced SIer and asked what to do - they posted the question, "for a friend". So you can work around this potential problem and still have your safe place. (With the possible exception of the S having a keylogger on your computer I suppose...)
Just be careful not to post anything too specific or with identifiable markers. Your user name is vague, that's a good start!
If someone really wants to remain anonymous online, it's up to them to be cautious about the information they give out. And even then, it's a crap shoot.
eta: the OW was one of the people who have found me here. I had told then-WH about SI, and he was so kind as to share with her. It really bothered me when I found out about it, because they both had been reading what I posted for months, during a time I thought we were working on the marriage. But now...well, I hope they've both moved past stalking me online, but if they are...whatever. Not my problem anymore.
[This message edited by inconnu at 2:55 PM, June 30th (Sunday)]
ANY time I post ANYthing, ANYwhere I assume she will be seeing it and edit myself accordingly. You should always do the same thing.
Frankly, what worried me more is that he posted enough details on his AFF account that anyone that wanted to, could have found him and therefore us. He posted about his hobbies that we BOTH participated in and gave enough detail (plus, of course, his photo) to where anyone that wanted to, could have shown up to check him out. And I guarantee that in any of the places that a potential OW had shown up, with his photo in hand, looking for him, our friends would have pointed me directly to her or would have pointed me out to them and told them to ask me. And boy, wouldn't THAT have been pretty!
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Met when we were 17 and 15. Together since 1983, married since 1985. Two kids, B21, G15.
Life has a way of making us get our panties in a wad.....I refuse to wear panties ever again.
I'm relaxing a bit, because I am nicely detached at this point, and really don't care, any more, what happens to either of them. But in the immediate aftermath of d-day, it was agonizing.
Nothing is anonymous.
I am fairly certain that anyone who knows me, that is on here, would be able to pick up who I am in a heartbeat, and I'm ok with that. However my personal situation didn't go down the road to where it could be a problem, and intially I held my cards close.
I have shared the site with many people who are going through similar struggles, and seem lost. Hoping that they can get some of the same support I did in those early days.
How anonymous you are here on SI is up to you.
When I first came here, I was concerned about anonymity so I kept certain details quiet and posted only in general terms.
There have been very rare occasions where people recognized each other from posts. I know two BS's that accidentally discovered each other here. But again, that is a very rare instance.
Over time, I have let my anonymity disappear but that was my choice.