I never asked graphic sex questions.
I asked more about feelings, whens and whys...
You can't unknow something but OTOH the truth is the truth.
Let the questions that you aren't sure about sit for a bit, if they nag at you ask, if they go away you didn't really want to know.
I think all BS's struggle with what kind of questions to ask. In my experience on SI, I have seen some BS's wanting every minute detail, while others are satisfied with just knowing the big picture, and everything in between.
Before you ask a question, know in your mind what the worst answer may be, and then decide if you can deal with it. As you know, once you hear something, it cannot be taken back.
Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.
I don't regret it.
But I think you have to know yourself and decide what is best for you.
What are you afraid to hear?
Whether or not you need to know more answers depends on you. There is an excellent article in the Healing Library called "Joseph's Letter." It's commonly used to help WS's understand why they should be truthful about details but it may help you in this case.
I think the issue may resolve itself with time and IC and later MC. You will know what you need to know.
Finally this is R 8/14/13
"Forgiving is a journey; the deeper the wound, the longer the journey".
Some answers would generate more questions. Our therapist suggested we spend 15 min/night on this. ha ha I think we spent about 60 + in the beginning and then it waned.
I knew when the main questions were done. I felt it in my heart and there was nothing tormenting me. I looked at the list the other day - there were 3-4 left and I thought, "I don't care about this and I don't need to know about that."
It is hard SS. Never in my life did I think I would be doing this.
My vote is to ask the Qs you want to ask and the Qs for which the answer are scary. Better to know one way or another than to wonder about a possible deal killer.
You're stronger than you think - if a feared sitch turns out to be true, trust yourself to figure out how to handle it.
[This message edited by sisoon at 6:22 PM, June 30th (Sunday)]