So my STBXWW might, just might be moving out this week, but it's still not certain. If she doesn't manage to get the apartment she applied for, I could be stuck with her until September. Frankly, It's hard for me to think of anything I'd like less. She's packing up her stuff though, in faith that she will be able to start to move out tomorrow. Let's all hope and pray.
She is leaving me the apartment and most of the stuff in it. Thank god for small favors, but the problem is that she won't let me forget it, and uses this fact as leverage in every other discussion that we have about the details of the separation. Not only that, but she feels entitled to be seen as "generous," for doing this. It's infuriating to hear her talk about how "nice" she is being (As if I'm going to give her that kind of affirmation after what she did). I'm having a hard time compartmentalizing her behavior during the divorce from the behavior that led to it, and I have to admit, I've let my emotions get the better of me more than once. My wife is doing a much better job of keeping her cool, even if she is being a cold bitch about most of this. I know I have to get a handle on myself, or else this could bite me in the ass.
Tonight's stupid fight was over cars. We have two cars, one with title in my name, and the other with the title in hers. She has grown attached to the one in my name, and insists that it's "her" car since she used it primarily to commute back and forth to school. She called up a hellstorm when I suggested that I should get that vehicle since it was titled in my name, and of course, as she always did, brought up the fact that she's leaving me most of the furniture, etc. Eventually I capitulated, but said that she should pay the title and registration fees associated with transferring the title on both of the cars. It was going to come up close to around $300. My argument was that it would have been free if we had just kept the vehicles in our names, but since she had insisted on switching them, she should bear the cost.
Well I'll be darned if that didn't result in her going crying to mommy, who then called me in a rage talking about how generous she had been to me all these years, and how she was mad at the way I was behaving, fighting over a measly $300 after all they had done, and after all the generosity my STBX was showing me. She threatened to cut off payment on my student loans (which, though they were in my name, were incurred to pay for my wife's schooling. Long story there). Unbelievable! They say they are being generous, but they're using their "generosity" as a weapon to get what they want.
So basically I was blackmailed into splitting the cost of the car transaction.
I feel like this kind of nonsense is happening almost every time we sit down to negotiate. Probably the only thing that is keeping us at the table is the knowledge that if we lawyered up we'd both end up in a worse position.
I feel like I'm just constantly being beaten into submission. I try to stand up for myself, but in the end, it's less trouble just to suck it up and give her what she wants. I'm so sick of this whole thing, and we still have so much to talk through. I want it to be done. I want her gone. This whole thing is causing me the most heartache and anger since DDay. I hate that our relationship has been reduced to squabbling and scrapping over money. I can't take much more of this. This needs to be over yesterday.
