I came to this site 5 years ago after learning about my wayward husband's ONS.
We had worked hard on reconciliation. Went to counseling, transparency, the whole nine yards. He was the model WH.
I even posted in the reconciliation forum just last year about how great things were.
Fast forward to 3 days ago. I find over 100 texts from a different other woman. Standard b.s. "I love you... I miss you... smiley faces." My gut had been screaming for the past 6 weeks that something was up but he kept gaslighting me. And, I would tell myself that there was no way he would do this to me... again.
Guess I was wrong.
We share 2 sons. They are 5 and 7. Clearly, it is very early in the game. He says he wants a divorce and I'm okay with that. I think even if he snapped out of the fog and asked me to come home, I would tell him no. I went through this all before and it was tough enough. After this, I could never trust him again.
Any advice on what to do, what not to do. My parents have welcomed me and my sons with open arms. We have started the process of moving in with them. I truly do not want the responsibility of owning our home by myself. I only work part-time so that I'm available for our sons. My WH says that he will keep the house so we will have to work on getting that refinanced in his name alone. Other than that we really don't have any other assets besides one vehicle that is owned out-right and titled in both our names. I have my own vehicle that I came into our marriage with and it is solely in my name. I'm most concerned about the house because it was just recently purchased.
And obviously I'm worried about custody.
I have been as civil as I can be but as I said its only been 3 days since I found out and confronted him. I'm familiar with the roller coaster so I know it can easily go downhill very quickly. He has his head so deep in a fog with this OW that its frightening. I'm trying to just focus on my boys. I told him that he can file and start all the paperwork.
I have gotten a tremendous amount of support from my parents as well as a few people from my church. But, I really felt compelled to come back here. I know this has gotten quite lengthy but again, any support would be welcomed.
[This message edited by hangingontohope7 at 8:46 PM, June 30th (Sunday)]
DDay #1 Tried R
DDAY #2 Divorcing
Burn everything love then burn the ashes.