We have a budget that includes money that goes into two separate savings accounts one for him and one for me. That's our money for blowing on gifts, nights out, presents, etc. The rule is, that I can only spend "my" savings money on him and he can only spend "his" savings money on me. We can collaborate if we would both like to do something expensive, say go out to a 5-star restaurant. Our MC suggested it and we like it a lot.
Now, to the gritty stuff, we have a budget. Everything is accounted for in separate budget lines, mortgagee, fuel, groceries, incidentals, etc. This keeps down surprises, especially as neither of us can spend over $20 on a non-budgeted item without an OK from the other person.
However things are VERY tense right now because of money. Why? Well, because when he started his new job with a startup company for more money, we had a long talk. I was good with it because he needed to get out from his toxic then-job and it was more money. However, being a start-up, it was risky. So the deal we cut was that all of the extra money would go towards paying off our debits and we would be debit free in one year. Which we were on our way towards.
Until his DUI. Now, not only are we not paying off those debits, we are going into more debit because of his stupid choice to drink and drive vice calling me. And I am majorly stressing out. So yeah, while we are doing all the correct budget things, he's undercut us with all of the fees, fines, mandatory classes, and increased insurance costs. Yeah, I'm pissed.