Did you tell your fiancÚ that you broke NC? He needs to know.
I want him to feel what I felt.
Never gonna happen. Why? Because different people can handle different things. And here's something for you to think about...When do you decide when you've handed him enough betrayal and he now feels your pain?
Let me tell you a little story. A man came to SI ranting and raving over his wife's very short EA. As he posted and she joined the site, more of their story came out. Come to find out, he'd had several PA when they were engaged and early in the marriage! But he was "so hurt" and "betrayed" and "short-changed", he retaliated against her short EA by having a handful of random ONS.
At what point is even, even? If you and your fiancÚ just keep throwing hurt around, ain't nothing gonna heal.
it's like his affair has made me feel he doesn't deserve my fidelity.
If you really feel this way, you need to leave the relationship. Because as long as you hold this thought, you will breed resentment and hate.
but I didn't stray.
Yes you did. Maybe he did it first, but you are both
cheaters and liars. You are both
at Ground Zero. Comparisons will get you nowhere.
[This message edited by Aubrie84 at 4:13 PM, July 1st (Monday)]