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Full Disclosure Letter

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motwobb1 posted 7/1/2013 21:10 PM

I found out these last couple of months that my H has been online chatting with multiple woman for the past 7 years. We are trying to R and I was wonder if any has used the full disclosure letter? I've seen it on a couple of posts on here and wasn't sure how they work or if they help at all or make it worse. I personally feel like until he lays it all out on the table and totally airs his laundry I won't be able to move forward with R.
Suggestions? Do I give him questions to answer? I'm not sure how they work???

fourever posted 7/2/2013 07:12 AM

It depends on what YOU need. In my case, my fwh is anal. So I asked for every date, hotel, dinner, gifts, and what happened in each. With the stipulation, if he left anything out intentionally, he would be sitting on the curb. It took him a while, but when I made my line in the sand, made it clear she could have him if he wasn't capable, he complied. He was also surprised and ashamed of the time he took from us for his fantasy life as he convinced himself and told me "it wasn't that often/much". We were both surprised, (I was stunned), but knowing helped me begin the healing road. That and his actions each day since.

Ask for what YOU need. You will know deep down if it's the truth. I think we, some of us, get an extra sense after this. My fwh had to also learn that an omission was a lie. Black & White, not gray area.

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