Also, you said he was overseas at war, but not which country. If he was in a country like S. Korea where they can get a cellphone plan and nice phones, then their 'real' conversations may have been through an app like Voxxer. Also, don't forget that there can always be a fake facebook or voxxer, etc... or other sites like twitter, tumblr, etc where they can exchange messages. They also may not have left 'digital footprints' on purpose.
Is he back yet? Did he bring home any new objects that he seems pretty fond of...and could have been given as a gift from her? My WH had lots of souviners (from a 3DS down to small things like a T-shirt and belt) that he would show me on skype, and when I asked where he got them, he would tell me that he bought them himself (my H buying HIMSELF clothes???), but now I know different.
Is the other servicemember from the same unit/company/etc or is she long gone and you most likely won't run into her again?
I also agree with the conscensous: if a lot of people are telling you the same version of the rumor...then it most likely isn't a rumor and is the truth...
If your spouse is back home, and they had an EA along with the PA, or maybe if it was only a PA, I'll bet they contact each other again sooner or later somehow. To 'remember the good ol' times'. If they DO still work together and see each other on a regular basis at work, you can also bet they will pick up where they left off after things 'settle down' and/or they are hit with all the responsibilites of life again after the deployment.
I'm thinking he was actually deployed instead of stationed overseas since you mention many other spouses around you knew. Maybe you could show up at his work one day with the pretense of dropping off lunch or your young child wanted to surprize daddy at work right at lunch time. Then, find someone you know he was deployed with but you know that they don't know what you look like or know that your H is married, and somehow ask this person about the rumor and see if he gives you any hints or new pieces of info. I know this may be a long shot....but hey?
[This message edited by Tired05 at 10:12 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday)]
Together 6 yrs. M 4 yrs. DD born 3/1/2013.
Me: BS -- Him: 1 EA/PA (6mos), PA (MW), and 6 ONS...Been at it for almost 5 yrs. *Still slave to TT* 1st DDay- 11/24/2012,
.....OC due in August.....