I'm not having a good day feeling really low I want to be happy again I want to have my career NOW I started school and graduated but never got into my field , finished school three YEaRS ago! I travel too much to find work ( military) but this is our last year then its back home .
I'm sad because I can't tell the future ! I'm scared he will do this again even though the changes are in progress and he is recommitted and is doing the work he is convinced never again can he put me through this ... I believe he believes it , but he also never thought he would cheat in the first place . I feel like we maybe good for a long time but that maybe it will slip again thinking were ok and I would have wasted even more time and my youth on someone who will eventually hurt me again . I wish if was destined to do it again I rather have it happen NOW before I start to forgive and bring hope back. I'm young but I have no career to support my kids and my work history is short and its been five years since I held a job. I don't want to leave and the reason I'm not leave are not these reasons I want to be with him but I'm scared of the unknown in this marriage and outside it . I don't want to see him have a life without me yet I feel this flatness I don't know how to handle it .
[This message edited by huRtZ413 at 8:28 AM, July 2nd (Tuesday)]