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Broke No Contact After 2 Years

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Crazy Daze posted 7/2/2013 16:42 PM

Haven't been on SI for a while but I am need of support.

I am in shock. So angry, so sad. I can't believe it!

WS broke no contact and e-mailed a birthday greeting to OW. After 2 years!

He was really moody yesterday and said he didn't feel well. Never said anything about having contact with her.

Now I know why he felt crappy.

She responded with how miserable her life is with her cancer spreading and no family support, and how her birthday certainly wasn't happy.

I don't know where this leaves H and I but I am certainly not happy and I guess H is not either.

I am so hurt and confused. He pushed the envelope and I know that I should kick him to the curb but I don't know if I can do it. It's gonna be a long night.

1Faith posted 7/2/2013 16:47 PM

(((Crazy Daze)))

I am so sorry you find yourself back here.

How did you find out? Have you confronted WH? His response was?

Start from the beginning. You don't have to make any major decisions right now but also stay angry.

Breaking the NC is a very big RED FLAG. You know this.

Deep breaths and get your ducks in a row. You are stronger than you think.

We are here. (((hugs)))

brkn_heartd posted 7/2/2013 20:51 PM

Crazy Daze,
I am so sorry. I imagine this puts you back at day 1. How did you find out? Are you really sure this is the first time in 2 years he broke NC?

Remember, even with this, you do not have to make a decision right way. Does he know that you know about breaking NC?

Hugs and support to you. Take care of yourself right now.

Skan posted 7/3/2013 12:09 PM

Ah hun, he didn't push the envelope. He put a card in it, addressed it, stamped it, licked it, and mailed it. He marked all kinds of territory with that envelope. And it was all territory that he claimed for himself, not you. He essentially put you right out the door onto the sidewalk. Now you need to decide what you need to do about it. (((hugs)))

Holly-Isis posted 7/3/2013 12:36 PM

What work has he done in the past two years? To examine himself and his issues? To help heal the M? To deal with the A?

Because if he has tried, this could be a slip if he triggered and something happened to make him seek out the drug of validation.

If he hasn't done the work...this might be something to consider a deal breaker.

Faithful w/Love posted 7/3/2013 12:44 PM

And this is what I am afraid of if I R!

I am SO SORRY that he did this to you and your marriage again.

Why did he feel he needed to break NC?

Again I am sorry.

Runninggirl posted 7/3/2013 15:00 PM

CD, Big Hug.
I am so sorry. I am similar position so I felt that I should reach out and let you know you are not alone. I am sorry you are going through this.

stillhere09 posted 7/4/2013 13:37 PM

I am so sorry.

When NC was established, had you made up your mind at that time what the consequence would be if NC was broken? If so, stick to it.

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