Topic: Broke No Contact After 2 Years
Member # 31843
| Posted: 4:42 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013|
Haven't been on SI for a while but I am need of support.
I am in shock. So angry, so sad. I can't believe it!
WS broke no contact and e-mailed a birthday greeting to OW. After 2 years!
He was really moody yesterday and said he didn't feel well. Never said anything about having contact with her.
Now I know why he felt crappy.
She responded with how miserable her life is with her cancer spreading and no family support, and how her birthday certainly wasn't happy.
I don't know where this leaves H and I but I am certainly not happy and I guess H is not either.
I am so hurt and confused. He pushed the envelope and I know that I should kick him to the curb but I don't know if I can do it. It's gonna be a long night.
Posts: 114 | Registered: Apr 2011
Member # 38975
| Posted: 4:47 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013|
I am so sorry you find yourself back here.
How did you find out? Have you confronted WH? His response was?
Start from the beginning. You don't have to make any major decisions right now but also stay angry.
Breaking the NC is a very big RED FLAG. You know this.
Deep breaths and get your ducks in a row. You are stronger than you think.
We are here. (((hugs)))
"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou
Posts: 1335 | Registered: Apr 2013
Member # 30396
| Posted: 8:51 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013|
I am so sorry. I imagine this puts you back at day 1. How did you find out? Are you really sure this is the first time in 2 years he broke NC?
Remember, even with this, you do not have to make a decision right way. Does he know that you know about breaking NC?
Hugs and support to you. Take care of yourself right now.
Married 31 yrs, together 34
Affair Aug-Dec 09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10
Posts: 1713 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Northwesten US
Member # 35812
| Posted: 12:09 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
Ah hun, he didn't push the envelope. He put a card in it, addressed it, stamped it, licked it, and mailed it. He marked all kinds of territory with that envelope. And it was all territory that he claimed for himself, not you. He essentially put you right out the door onto the sidewalk. Now you need to decide what you need to do about it. (((hugs)))
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Posts: 5217 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Member # 13447
| Posted: 12:36 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
What work has he done in the past two years? To examine himself and his issues? To help heal the M? To deal with the A?
Because if he has tried, this could be a slip if he triggered and something happened to make him seek out the drug of validation.
If he hasn't done the work...this might be something to consider a deal breaker.
"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*
Posts: 11335 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
Member # 33128
| Posted: 12:44 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
And this is what I am afraid of if I R!
I am SO SORRY that he did this to you and your marriage again.
Why did he feel he needed to break NC?
Again I am sorry.
DD 20 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
Separated again June 2014. Heading toward divorce.
False R. Still Lying.
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have left"
Posts: 2890 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 9973
| Posted: 3:00 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
CD, Big Hug.
I am so sorry. I am similar position so I felt that I should reach out and let you know you are not alone. I am sorry you are going through this.
Shock has worn off. Now the 'fun' begins.
After several years of solid R, (F)MOW
CHECKS IN in to say Hi~ H CHECKS OUT briefly and "forgets to tell me" because IT HADN'T gotten
physical this time. 4 months out again same MOW
Posts: 2852 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: The Valley
Member # 24924
| Posted: 1:37 PM, July 4th (Thursday), 2013|
I am so sorry.
When NC was established, had you made up your mind at that time what the consequence would be if NC was broken? If so, stick to it.
Walk a Mile In My Shoes
Married 14 yrs. Now Separated & in NC
2 grown DD's - his from previous M
4 grown kids (2DS, 2DD) mine from previous M
Posts: 3035 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Ohio
|Topic Posts: 8|