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help me respond to npd/sociopath xwh

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sparkysable posted 7/2/2013 18:30 PM

overnights and vacations are not in our final agreement. he is most likely a sociopath, if not a narcissist. I'm about to face the narcissist/sociopath rage, because he just asked me if he could take DD for a week. Um, hell no, but how do I answer this? Anyone have experience with the narc/socio rage when they don't get their way?

Nature_Girl posted 7/2/2013 19:26 PM

Tell him no, overnights/vacations are not specified. Sorry Charlie. You'll need mediation or something to figure out details before you allow her go away.

peridot posted 7/2/2013 19:40 PM

Dear asshole,

Overnights and vacations are not apart of the visitation schedule in the decree.

What does your final agreement say about visitation?

Kajem posted 7/2/2013 19:52 PM

Do you have full custody of your DD?

Is he nearby?

Is he wanted to take DD on vacation? Will someone else, (that you trust with DD) be there?

If he asks with no specifics regarding where they are going, who with, etc.. NO way.

tryingagain74 posted 7/2/2013 20:04 PM

For a week? Oh, maybe he thinks that will make up for all the time he doesn't spend with her.

I would refer him to the legal language of your agreement and leave it at that. If he rages, contact your L.

(((sparkysable)))

m334455 posted 7/2/2013 22:13 PM

I think you asked a second question: how to deal with the rage. How have you dealt with it in the past?

First, expect the batshit crazy rage. Then there is no element of surprise. Second, say no in writing and keep a copy of it and whatever his response is. Third, be very neutral and say "you agreed to X. A week is not in our agreement and I don't think it is in daughter's best interest."

Then, while listening to rage part 2 label everything he's saying/doing in your head blame, bully, curse, whine, complain, deflect, etc. and when he finally winds down say "I'm sorry you feel that way. If you want more visitation you're welcome to have your lawyer contact my lawyer to try to work something out." Then make him go bye-bye.

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