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New Beginnings :
Scary idea

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 OnceInALifetime (original poster member #26023) posted at 4:20 AM on Wednesday, July 3rd, 2013

People here have been making some suggestions for me to get out there and shake things up a bit, and I'm having a thought that sorta excites me, but mostly terrifies me: dancing.

I suck sooo bad at dancing. Not funny bad. Painful bad. Your bowels would vacate if you glimpsed me trying it.

My XW wrestled me onto a dance floor once. 10 seconds later she said we should sit back down, and that was the last time she ever broached the subject. (This is not a memory I hold against her. She was a champ. 10 seconds was an eternity.)

Thing is, if I could actually learn to dance and not completely suck, it would be proof that anything in this world is possible, that miracles can occur, and that there is in fact a loving and caring God watching over us.

If I just plain suck and there's nothing for it, what's the worst that could happen, other than getting ridiculed and shunned at every class?

I think I need to talk with Moo.

[This message edited by OnceInALifetime at 10:22 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday)]

BH, now divorced

posts: 3529   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2009   ·   location: New England
id 6395651
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HappilyUnMarried ( member #21299) posted at 4:30 AM on Wednesday, July 3rd, 2013

One word of advice here: tequila

Even if your dancing sucks, you won't know it

True happiness comes from within, not from someone else.  Don’t make the mistake of waiting on someone or something to come along and make you happy

posts: 1302   ·   registered: Oct. 18th, 2008
id 6395661
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fireproof ( member #36126) posted at 4:32 AM on Wednesday, July 3rd, 2013

I think that is a great idea! Salsa, East Coast Swing, etc. I am not a dancer but I am always amazed when I see people dance.

I enjoy wine tastings because you can taste and wander around and then return to tasting and meeting different people.

Good luck with the classes!

posts: 1563   ·   registered: Jul. 14th, 2012
id 6395664
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MovingUpward ( member #14866) posted at 4:42 AM on Wednesday, July 3rd, 2013

Look around your area. Often times you can find a cheap group lesson and then dance afterwards at a bar or community center. Many areas have swing clubs or salsa clubs or meetup groups that often have events with a lesson.

Or you might find that it is fun and just can't stop learning new moves and new dances. It seems that every 3 months I have a new favorite dance.

posts: 54450   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2007
id 6395673
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fireproof ( member #36126) posted at 5:53 AM on Wednesday, July 3rd, 2013

Meetups are an excellent idea. I go to spend time with my friends. Since the groups have events at least twice a week you eventually see some if the same people.

People also enjoy dancing and it is fun to mingle and no pressure because you might see them at another event. I would suggest you going to ones you are interested in like wine or a restaurant that way if you don't click right away you can enjoy the experience and less pressure.

The ratio of women to men is about 8 women to every man. I will tell you the men can date a lot of women from these meetups I have unfortunately witnessed the confident ones who are aware of the ratio.

Good luck and Have fun!

posts: 1563   ·   registered: Jul. 14th, 2012
id 6395723
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want_to_forgive ( member #20470) posted at 5:55 AM on Wednesday, July 3rd, 2013

Love this! I am a terrible dancer too, but I know there is a dancing diva in me! How awesome would it be to walk out on the dance floor with confidence? Women will find it super sexy, and really it is all about finding that confidence in yourself. Not being so self conscious, letting go a little. Being confident on the dance floor says something good about someone. You go first

M 11 years
Me: BS 38 Him: WS
DDay June 2006, LTA BFFOW
Divorced April 5, 2013
Not making a decision is making a decision.

posts: 534   ·   registered: Jul. 31st, 2008   ·   location: Alaska
id 6395724
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Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 6:33 AM on Wednesday, July 3rd, 2013

I don't think it's a scary idea. I think it's a damn good one.

OIAL are you my X. I got him up to dance once for 10 seconds then told him let's sit down. We danced at our wedding, holding onto one another and I had to do the leading.

Seriously, I would have loved for us to take dancing lessons. When my finances are in better shape I am going to.

So go get started, and save me a dance at a 2014 G2G.

I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

posts: 6708   ·   registered: Jul. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Florida
id 6395739
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torn2bits ( member #28376) posted at 6:56 AM on Wednesday, July 3rd, 2013

OIAL, I think that it is wonderful for you to gain this skill. Yes, meetups have dancing groups, however, if you are not a dancer you will need a good instructor.

You should choose what kind of dancing first, then take lessons so you have that personal experience.

I am a dancer, having taken lesson in jazz, ballet and salsa since I was 5 years old. Many women love dancing; pop, salsa and ballroom.

The proper way for a gentleman to hold a woman, even while slow dancing is a great skill to have!

You will do just fine, I am sure of it!

Me: 45/WH (SA): 49
M: 26 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce halted

posts: 1282   ·   registered: Apr. 26th, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 6395745
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lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 12:40 PM on Wednesday, July 3rd, 2013

That's a fantastic idea.

No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.

posts: 22643   ·   registered: Mar. 20th, 2007   ·   location: Houston
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Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 12:43 PM on Wednesday, July 3rd, 2013

DO IT!

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

posts: 25351   ·   registered: Jun. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: Arizona
id 6395838
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Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 12:48 PM on Wednesday, July 3rd, 2013

I'll spell it out for you.

1. Watch Seinfeld.

2. Learn "the Elaine".

3. Done.

Seriously, anything that gets you out of the house and around other primates is good for the soul.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

posts: 9299   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2009   ·   location: Western PA
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Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 2:16 PM on Wednesday, July 3rd, 2013

I have taken dance lessons on and off since college, and love it. One of the biggest things that attracted me to the guy I dated last winter was that he would suggest we go out dancing. Such a plus!

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

posts: 14469   ·   registered: Jul. 17th, 2011
id 6395905
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Newlease ( member #7767) posted at 4:04 PM on Wednesday, July 3rd, 2013

Most women love a guy who can, and wants to, dance!

Go for it!

NL

Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

posts: 8471   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2005
id 6396067
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Grace and Flowers ( member #34431) posted at 4:10 PM on Wednesday, July 3rd, 2013

OIAL...just do it.

I wanted to dance...but had no idea if I had two left feet. So I took an introductory class at a local dance studio.

BEST DECISION EVER. Not only did I find out I CAN dance, I found out that I LOVE it.

It's almost addicting. My studio is now part of my family...everyone is welcoming and nice. And everyone learns in different ways and at different rates....so there is NEVER any "snootiness" at someone who maybe doesn't picket up as fast. At out social dances, the more experienced dancers always make it s point to dance with the newer dancers.

I only wish I had done this 10 years ago! I have never felt more alive than when I'm dancing.

And the great thing about the open/social dances is that's it's not a "pickup" scene. It's just people having fun...which is what dance is supposed to be!

Go for it!

Divorced since 2012

posts: 1399   ·   registered: Jan. 5th, 2012   ·   location: US
id 6396078
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 OnceInALifetime (original poster member #26023) posted at 4:22 PM on Wednesday, July 3rd, 2013

Believe me, the last reason I'd be doing this is to attract women. I'd just be grateful if any of them put up with me as a dance partner during the lessons.

It's just something that I've always thought would be broadening, somehow. My personality can be stiff. My dancing is rigid. It's strange, I'm a musician, but I have no body rhythm or grace.

Dancing feels like a magnification and exposure of my weakest characteristics. So this could either be a wonderful, growing experience or a huge fail

BH, now divorced

posts: 3529   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2009   ·   location: New England
id 6396094
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torn2bits ( member #28376) posted at 5:04 PM on Wednesday, July 3rd, 2013

OIAL, my sons are musicians and they had no body movement to the beat until they really, really applied themselves.

You will see, once you get a few lessons, you are going to sky rocket! You will want to jump at opportunities to dance.

Dancing is also so very good for the soul!

Me: 45/WH (SA): 49
M: 26 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce halted

posts: 1282   ·   registered: Apr. 26th, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 6396150
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 OnceInALifetime (original poster member #26023) posted at 5:17 PM on Wednesday, July 3rd, 2013

You will want to jump at opportunities to dance.

I hope so, but I wonder. This goes so much against my grain.

BH, now divorced

posts: 3529   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2009   ·   location: New England
id 6396181
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MovingUpward ( member #14866) posted at 5:24 PM on Wednesday, July 3rd, 2013

Don't wonder, try.

posts: 54450   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2007
id 6396197
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Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 5:28 PM on Wednesday, July 3rd, 2013

This goes so much against my grain.

Isn't that the point?

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

posts: 14469   ·   registered: Jul. 17th, 2011
id 6396202
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 OnceInALifetime (original poster member #26023) posted at 5:34 PM on Wednesday, July 3rd, 2013

So I need some help. I've googled a bit and there are 6 billion and one different dance styles to choose from.

What I would like is some class that would help me become a comfortable social dancer. What do people actually do when they go dancing on a date? Is it like when I was a kid and everyone just gyrates and kind of bounces up and down?

Guess I'd like to start real simple, so that means Latin styles are out, I presume? I don't want to have to remember ridiculous step combinations.

BH, now divorced

posts: 3529   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2009   ·   location: New England
id 6396212
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