Got this from him today:
XWH: I have issued a cheque for the “B” property taxes at $1464.66. Tomorrow you can let me know what method you wish to submit your portion of that at $ 732.33.
TC: The B property is in your name. We have both agreed in mediation that the B property is yours. The divorce has been granted.
I would like to understand your reasons for thinking I should be perpetually responsible for your bills. At what point does that end if not now?
XWH: There has been discussion about all the matramonial items but to my knowledge nothing has been finallized unless you acually know something I do not
TC: Item 4 under "Division of Property" in the most recent Mediated Report Agreement sent to you by our mediator states:
"Other Real Estate/Properties – Lot 1B, Lot 37S, and Lots 24S and 25S will remain with XWH."
Are you saying that you now disagree with this? If so, why did you not contact the mediator as instructed with your concerns and corrections? It is my understanding that as items are agreed upon, they are added to the report. It is not some 'big final agreement thing' that happens when every last detail is worked out. They are added to the agreement in a cumulative manner AS they are worked out.
As I’ve indicated, the INTERIM Separation Agreement we had in which I was footing the bill for half of your expenses, was never intended as a long-term perpetual plan, it was stop-gap means of dealing with imminent issues. I have tried faithfully to keep my end of that agreement for nearly two years now, far longer than I ever anticipated. The "interim" is over and the elements of that agreement are now being replaced. That is the point of working with the mediator.
It never ceases to amaze me that so far "agreements" only appear to pertain to TC and not XWH.
I will no longer be contributing to the maintenance of property B. TC
And of course...... I'm the one "reneging on my agreement".
Yep, I am. And its a little scary and a lot hard because Ive spent 43 years doing things out of fear of his reaction. Gotta get my big girl panties on now and head to a crackerjack lawyer and quit worrying about whether he's mad, cuz hes gonna be.
[This message edited by trebleclef at 2:51 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)]
I'm sorry mediation failed, but I think you knew this was a very real possibility with him. He's always been a tug-of-war player, from what I recall of your posts.
You know what drives that type of person batshit and puts you in charge?
Dropping the rope.
Drop it. Greenlight your lawyer to make arrangements, up to and including covering the appropriate fees because STBX was not earnest in mediation.
You're no longer involved. He just shot himself in the foot. And wallet.
Idjut.
WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009. EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.
And of course...... I'm the one "reneging on my agreement". Yep, I am. And its a little scary and a lot hard because Ive spent 43 years doing things out of fear of his reaction.
Yep, I am. And its a little scary and a lot hard because Ive spent 43 years doing things out of fear of his reaction.
I thought I was reading about me and my POS! For years I just capitulated to keep the peace. When POS walked out I stopped paying the credit card bills that were in his name. He was furious because "we had agreed I would continue to cover the payments" or some such rot. A, yeah, shitbag that was before I caught you red-handed at OW#3's house and you took off like a coward. Did I renege? You betcha! I KNEW he would be pissed, and he was, but I told him all agreements became null and void upon me finding out about newest affair and subsequent desertion of the family!
It never ceases to amaze me how these fucksticks really believe that agreements (or wedding vows) only work one way, never both ways, then get angry when they get called out!
Keep walking in those bitch boots!
This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
.......wow! Just made a call and the lawyer in question passed away yesterday! How weird is that?!
Err'body, move out of the way. trebleclef is coming through!
We are also going through "mediation" and things like you describe are happening there.
The narcissism is rearing its ugly head in massive ways. Now, STBX and his lawyer are telling us different things with any subject that comes up. But with STBX, I find that consistent with other people still in both of our lives. None of his words match another.
He lied on some of the financial things, too and has messed up some of our bills and his credit is bad now.
They are trying to include me in debt and future debt, too, and I am SAHM-for over 10 years! I'm also not predicted to work for several years (baby coming), so I'm not sure how they think I could pay these bills.
I wish you well and hope you will get to separate more of your stuff and begin the journey of repair.
I'm sorry for your frustration, TC.
We've had mediation fail and it was a 4 hour meeting we both had to shell out money for.
You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.
-George Washington
