In the case of my STBX, crying / tears / sobbing / hysteria were all a way to deflect serious conversations. He hid behind his crocodile tears. How could I continue to insist on answers when he was breaking down? What was wrong with me that I couldn't see how destroyed & sorry he was? What more could I possibly ask him, what more could he possibly give???
Ditto. His undiagnosed depression, anxiety/personality disorders went into fever pitch when I didn't do the things he expected a) he expected he could love bomb me back; and b) he expected I would go postal and verify that he wasn't the bad guy, he was married to a crazy bitch.
I let myself be sucked into a) for under 3m but TBH by that time I subconsciously knew I was gaslighting the fuck out of myself and it was only a matter of time before I ran out of gas.
Let him carry his own water. He is no longer your problem - let him deal with himself.
20 weeks after S which was after a 3m false R of Academy Award Winning Muppetry this 40 y/o loser was ready to introduce his 24 y/o office gopher/obviously prior OW to my little girls as his GF.
That is how sincere his pretty words and rivers of tears were. He told me he was no longer broken and he knows that because he is now in a 'loving' relationship.
That's the kind of logic you're dealing with here. He was losing it when he was alone, like a parasite without a host. Now he has a now host the parasite is happy!
That there is the great big upside to his shacking up with OWUmpteen. I am not looking forward to the performances I will be subjected to each time that parasite is host-less.