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Did your WS exaggerate?

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hobbeskat posted 7/3/2013 17:07 PM

My WS actually exaggerated aspects of his A. He said when he told me (not to my face, via text), he felt, "euphoria" and overegged things a bit. I asked him (to his face) if he masturbated and thought of her. He pulled a face and said, "Yeah, sorry". And that scarred me- I couldn't be near him if he was touching himself.

And it turns out, this apparently wasn't true. And he doesn't know why he said it. I'm not sure I believe him, but our MC said he says and does (says- like saying he didn't love me etc, when he was depressed) things to get a reaction from me- any reaction, any attention, whether positive or negative. Which to an extent is true (he has a massive cruel streak) but still, what a fucking lie to make up. She said, "Weren't you thinking of how much you were hurting your wife, who you had married only 5 months before, when you said those things?" And he wasn't. I think he just hated me at the time. Or was angry at me.

Did your WS do anything like that?

[This message edited by hobbeskat at 5:28 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday)]

Reality posted 7/3/2013 17:25 PM

Hobbes, I saw your other post, and now seeing this one, and with what your MC said, I officially want to see an ACME anvil poised above your husband's head.

He has a "cruel streak?" You've been doing this since just a few months after the wedding? He's willing to hurt you to get your attention? NOT COOL.

FTG. A lot.

hobbeskat posted 7/3/2013 17:28 PM

Yep, I do often wonder what the fuck I'm doing here, to be honest. I seem to have totally lost the respect of my family and friends- him moreso, though. He is being lovely and he wasn't himself during that time (or was he? is that his real self) but yeah, sometimes, FTG.

Josephine01 posted 7/4/2013 09:39 AM

He sounds very cruel. I am worried how he might try to get your attention next. Please take care of yourself. Most WS, IMO, do not do things like this. My husband was heartless, but yours takes the cake.

Good Luck hobbeskat.

doesitgetbetter posted 7/4/2013 10:13 AM

It's those types of people (the kind who will do just about anything to hurt their friends/family/spouse's) who kill their children just to get back at their spouse/ex spouse. Seriously. Think about it.

hobbeskat posted 7/4/2013 16:58 PM

I really don't think its like that! I consider it poor impulse control coupled with him wishing he'd destroyed his .marriage for a deeper feeling.

doesitgetbetter posted 7/4/2013 17:03 PM

Of course you don't think it's like that.... and neither did the woman who's husband was a Dr. He later killed their children and left them all on the front lawn for her to find them when she went to pick them up from his visitation. The Dr. husband was found in the garage having committed suicide as well.

There is no difference, it's just a different level. If he's done this repeatedly, then you have every reason to worry that he will escalate and start harming you later, or when he gets really angry because you did something to make him mad. Surely you thought WH would never cheat on you either, correct?

hobbeskat posted 7/4/2013 17:06 PM

No, but he's honestly never cruelly bullshitted to me like this before. He's poked in anger to get a reaction but we're talking twice a year in a big fight. Him bullshitting about the A is out of character.

Josephine01 posted 7/4/2013 17:12 PM

I don't think he cares that he destroyed his marriage for a deeper feeling. I think that he thinks as long as he has destroyed his marriage, why not have some fun with it. I am not trying to hurt you. I am just a little worried about your mental health.

Again, please be careful ((Hugs))

NotDefeatedYet posted 7/4/2013 17:13 PM

My wife embellished. She said after sex they took a shower together. She has since proclaimed that she made that up, because she couldn't even let him finish. Mid way, she told him she couldn't do it and to get off. Then she said she went and took a shower and cried. She said she felt like a prostitute, and adding that little tidbit didn't make it sound as bad as it actually was. I don't know what to believe, but that's what she's told me.

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