SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

hatetheworld posted 7/3/2013 19:25 PM

Ok. So I'm an idiot...

You all told me he was going to cheat again and well, you were right...

I had a gut feeling to check his fb and when I did I noticed a new girl on it. It was an EMT that he works with (only been working there for about 2 weeks!) As I am looking at her profile a chat pops up saying "Stagin at such n such hospital. Where are you?"

I wait a little while and check again and there is another message. This one is from her saying "Your so freakin quiet when I'm around you. You should take me on a call with you so you can loosen up."

By now I am pissed and start looking through his email. I found an old message from her saying "You can shower at my house but I can't guarantee you will be alone" and "You should have more 'late' calls so we have more time to study. One session isn't going to be enough because I'm pretty shitty at anatomy and cardiac arrest."

So at this point I have to go to work and I'm about to throw up! I wasn't able to check again for a while but when I did, the messages had been deleted. After work I jumped on his fb again and she messaged "are you back in town" (he works for a medical transport company).
He said "yes, just got back, doing a few in town runs." A little while later he asked "Are you still awake?", she put "Yes, still up" and he asked "Do you still want me to come by?" Mind you, this is all at 1:30 am!! He works until 2am.

So she responds "if you want to", he puts "I'd love to, if you want" and she said "heck yes."

So at this point I am fucking LIVID! I was not going to let his sorry ass fuck this chick and then crawl into my bed and act like nothing happend! So I called my mom, bawling because I was so mad!

She gets her keys and confronts him at work!! In front of his coworkers! LMAO
Then she goes and beats down my mother in laws door at 2 am and tells her what a piece of shit her son is!!

Anyways, I fb him because he doesnt have a phone and can only get on fb when he is around a wifi hotspot. I told him to not bother coming home and his shit is in the front yard. I was still following his fb at the time and even after my Mom, his Mom and I confronted him he STILL met this skank whore!!!!

He didn't end up showing up at his moms until 7am so Im sure he was banging her all night...

He tells me that he wouldn't have to look elsewhere for sex if he were getting at home. He said that he is sorry things went down like this but things haven't been the same since he knocked up the first chick!! Well no friggin shit dumb ass!!

Anyways, I kicked his ass out and now I am happily prancing my way over to the divorce forum. I have consults with the best attornies in town and will be going to the CS office on Monday when he has the kids.

The kicker for me is he is 27 and this chick JUST turned 20!!! I'm 24! I'm not old! I look good for having 4 kids (we lost our first at 36 weeks)! I am 5'9 and 130lbs! What the hell did he see in this man faced fat fuck that I don't have?

Oh well. I honestly am taking this really well. I've cried a little, obviously a little pissed, been happy and overwhelmed. Rolling through the emotions like a champ and I can't WAIT to start over! Just me and my babies...

FUCK HIM!

Gipper posted 7/3/2013 19:46 PM

You. Are. Not. An. Idiot. You did the best you could. Many of us can hear the truth from our friends here, but aren't strong enough to act on it. That's why they tell us to take care of you. It's vitally important to become a strong enough person to handle it if and when it happens again. Sounds like you got your stomping boots on already. Good for you.
And coming from someone old enough to be your dad's younger brother (LOL), you are just a baby as well. Cut him loose. You will soon be glad you did. Hugs to you and your children.

hatetheworld posted 7/3/2013 19:51 PM

Thank you! I am ready to move on. I have never been so sure of anything in my life! It is actually a very big relief! I feel like a weight has been lifted to a point. I am stressed about money but I will be ok. I rent from my Dad, have a job and a good support system. I just needed that extra push and I finally found it. I am just not looking foward to telling my kiddos. I hope it goes better than I am expecting...

hatetheworld posted 7/3/2013 20:14 PM

Edited to remove questions. Going to ask them in the divorce section.

[This message edited by hatetheworld at 8:18 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday)]

TrulySad posted 7/5/2013 15:37 PM

I'm sorry you're going through this, but I'm beyond impressed with your strength. Don't let go of that. And as far as why her, over you... it has NOTHING to do with you. This is about him, and who he is.

Who a man cheats with, and what they give him, has nothing to do with what you aren't or don't have to offer. My WBF is the first man I know to openly admit the rush of someone new is enticing. It's that way for us women also. BUT just like he's admitted and hopefully lives by now...it's not worth losing the love of your life.

Your WH is with her because she allows it, and his character doesn't stop it.

I hope you're doing ok, and please stay strong...

mysticpenguin posted 7/5/2013 15:58 PM

Just echoing TrulySad -- it's never about the OP or what they can give the WS... it's the rush of something new. My WH said that to me too, right after he cheated (I didn't know at the time) and repeatedly since I found out.

(((((HUGS))))) and hope you're doing well!

The 4th of July Independence holiday was well-timed for you! :)