I am 2.5 years out. My husband met his affair partner at the Lifetime fitness gym. Since his disclosure to me, he left Lifetime and we now go to the YMCA. But every now and then, we run into people who knew him from his years at Lifetime. Tonight we went out for dinner at a loval bar that used to be our place. At the bar, these people kept looking at him. Then they asked, "Didn't you used to go to Lifetime? We haven't see you in a while." So of course, I wonder if they are aware of him and her in the gym, doing their workout together, going on the eliptical together and wondering if they broke up. When I am his wife of 15 years.
On top of that, his AP now works in the same city as me, in a building close by. I ran into her once and confronted her. Last week, she was in my very building and came within inches of me as I was walking through the skyway.
Even without these constant reminders, I think of the affair every day. My H says he never thinks of it.
Has anyone else had these type of situations? Is it good that he doesn't think of it? How do I stop thinking of it? How are the rest of you all doing at 2+ years. This website literally lifted me up in my darkest days. I hope to do that for others, but still feel too wrung out to do it. Advice or thoughts?
BS - 55, female
WS - 57, male
Married 15 years, together 18
"Forgive: sounds good. Forget: I don't think I could. They say, 'Time heals everything' but I'm still waiting."