I thought on it for a week. I really don't feel as if I've done this for spite. Fear more so than spite. Before the A my WH was a great father. And since beginning R he has been again. But during the A he was not at all. WH says he wouldn't contact OW/ex-BFF if I was gone because he wouldn't put her BH through that. But I KNOW in my heart once she knew I was gone (which would be 12 seconds later in this small town) her BH would be around no longer. My WH and her both have this star crossed lovers who found one another at the wrong time syndrome. He still has bouts of missing her or wondering if she is ok. 99% of the time he doesn't. But that changed part of him that is no longer the man I married is what scares me.
I just want the peace of mind to know a person with a clear sense of reality is handling my daughters future. And yes Grace-that is exactly right. On top of that we love one another, are working to save our family, a part of me could never leave because I couldn't live with myself if I allowed my DD to be partially raised by the Ex-BFF/OW. And my fear is that would be exactly what would happen.
And I realize once I'm dead the money will do me no good. But the love and concern for my daughter transcends that. Even more so-I want to know when I'm gone she will be alright-even if financially is the only certain way I can make sure of.
Hope that make sense.