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Newest Member: ConfidentJayne (61852)

User Topic: Support for friend please
♀ 33886
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 10:39 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a dear SI friend that needs encouragement and support. She is stalked thus the reason I'm posting.

My friend has been mother and father to her children for several years. Her ex-douche didn't want anything to do with them. He's blown off visitation for the past 3-4 years. Now, he's magically re-appeared and wants to play Disney Dad. He gets the kids for the next couple weeks.

The kids have never been away from my friend, let alone that length of time. Ex-douche is super excited to play "family" and show off his awesome parenting skills of "abandon till convenient for me" to his new fling.

If you have any ways for my friend to cope and handle the next little while, please post as she will read them.

Thank you so much in advance for any help.

This is the hall of mirrors. Where you will face yourself. Buckle up.

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

Posts: 7909 | Registered: Nov 2011
♂ 37455
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 10:49 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FOA( friend of Aubrie), have you by chance have an opportunity to speak to an attorney about this? I think the courts may rule favorably for you given his historical visitation. he might get a couple of days, but not a couple of weeks. typically they will rule in the best interest of the children. I can't see how this fits that definition.

BH 53, WW 45
DS 25(Mine),SD 24,SS 23(Hers),DS 12 Ours, DGS 6, DGD 2
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 13yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 5562 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
♀ 28622
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 10:51 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have heard the advice to consider it like "camp." Perfectly normal intact families send their kids away to camp. There is homesickness, worry, and missing them. Framing this as like something that non BS moms have to deal with somehow can help. Maybe.

Try not to get stuck on the injustice and the unfairness of it. Reframe it so that you don't get sucked into the negativity.

Focus on the time to do the things that can't be done when the kids are home.

Focus on the fact that they will be back.


Me: 45, independent, happy, despite parallel parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 15 DS 12
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 7052 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 10:56 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I should think that abruptly sending the kids off for several weeks with a virtual stranger to be something that can be stopped. It should be possible to work with a parenting coordinator and ease the kids into this transition. I would look into the legalities of requiring a parenting coordinator for this ASAP.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!

Posts: 10722 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 4

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