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Support for friend please

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Aubrie posted 7/3/2013 22:39 PM

I have a dear SI friend that needs encouragement and support. She is stalked thus the reason I'm posting.

My friend has been mother and father to her children for several years. Her ex-douche didn't want anything to do with them. He's blown off visitation for the past 3-4 years. Now, he's magically re-appeared and wants to play Disney Dad. He gets the kids for the next couple weeks.

The kids have never been away from my friend, let alone that length of time. Ex-douche is super excited to play "family" and show off his awesome parenting skills of "abandon till convenient for me" to his new fling.

If you have any ways for my friend to cope and handle the next little while, please post as she will read them.

Thank you so much in advance for any help.

5454real posted 7/3/2013 22:49 PM

FOA( friend of Aubrie), have you by chance have an opportunity to speak to an attorney about this? I think the courts may rule favorably for you given his historical visitation. he might get a couple of days, but not a couple of weeks. typically they will rule in the best interest of the children. I can't see how this fits that definition.

caregiver9000 posted 7/3/2013 22:51 PM

I have heard the advice to consider it like "camp." Perfectly normal intact families send their kids away to camp. There is homesickness, worry, and missing them. Framing this as like something that non BS moms have to deal with somehow can help. Maybe.

Try not to get stuck on the injustice and the unfairness of it. Reframe it so that you don't get sucked into the negativity.

Focus on the time to do the things that can't be done when the kids are home.

Focus on the fact that they will be back.

(((hugs)))

Nature_Girl posted 7/3/2013 22:56 PM

I should think that abruptly sending the kids off for several weeks with a virtual stranger to be something that can be stopped. It should be possible to work with a parenting coordinator and ease the kids into this transition. I would look into the legalities of requiring a parenting coordinator for this ASAP.

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