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Happy July 4th or bah humbug...whatever...

I'm sitting here with the cutest puppy you can imagine snoring on my lap. My beautiful DD is singing in her sleep and my fWH is snoring away as well. I should be ecstatic that my life is headed in the right direction again. Instead I'm here feeling blue.

We have been NC for exactly 4 months today yet she keeps on sniffing around. It all started 2 days ago when the MOW once again looked at my and my fWH's LinkedIn pages. At least she no longer has her picture attached to her account so that I don't have to see her face but I just want her to leave us alone. I know that in the grand scheme of things 4 months is nothing, but with every look I feel myself being thrown back to DDay1 and it sucks.

I'm not sleeping much thanks to my fWH's RLS and snoring so I've found myself becoming more and more sensitive. Don't know how much longer I can go before I blow up from shear exhaustion. My fWH and I are still going thru the ends and outs of the A and I'm afraid any unintentional blow up by me could derail our progress somewhat. Ugh...like I said...feeling blue.

I don't think I am right for the R forum because I'm just not there and probably will never be.

But I can't see someone feeling blue and not want to give a hug.

I'm jealous of your puppy and DD sleep singing. I'm at work!

Cheer up or maybe blow something up? Its the 4th, no one will know.

Don't know if this will help, but you can't control what she does. What is FWH reaction to her sniffing around? Does he know? IMHO, social media and the internet can be evil. H and I both got rid of facebook a long time ago b/c it was causing jealousy problems (before A, go figure!).

I feel the same as you in that I don't want to take one step forward then two steps back b/c of a blow up. I tend to tread lightly and am trying to live in the moment and appreciate any little progress I see. Its not easy, its HARD, and sometimes its too much and I lose it.

Good luck and I wish you the best. You're not alone being blue.

Who gives a $h!t about the OW?

YOU HAVE A PUPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I agree w/ Josephine85....

YOU HAVE A PUPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Puppies make everything better.
Hugs to you Mack.....

Is there anyway you and fWH can get rid of LinkedIn for awhile? I mean you can always go back and do these pages in the future right?

Are you guys in MC and/or IC? Being able to work through the anger and marriage troubles is great in MC, and IC can really help with letting go of what you cannot control (OW looking you both up on the internet).

I found limiting OW/xBFF's access to me very freeing from her in the beginning. Recently, her daughter found my old YouTube account and it did trigger some feelings I wasn't expecting as I can only assume OW/xBFF looked at the page as well. But, it only took a day or so to get it out of my mind and not really care at all what she is doing.

Until you remove the obstacles that continue the triggers they will not quit. Maybe not all people here would agree with me on that, but it worked tremendously for me (as well as being in MC and IC).