I'll try to keep this brief. I am at the beginning of what seems like will be a long journey to move on for good. as you will know I was still in contact with him. I thought I could handle that but I couldn't.
I have now gotten my things back and dropped his stuff off. I didn't see him. Didn't contact him to tell him what I was doing. I just did it. I also returned a teddy he bought be as a gift. Maybe spiteful but it obviously meant nothing.
He contacted me that night saying that he didn't realise that the teddy would be in with his things I returned and he was sad because it smelled of me. I felt guilty of course so I apologised. He went onto say that he had ordered me a gift before the recent hassle and it arrived that day. He showed me the link. The item was purchased the day before so this is a lie.
I am now going through all of my old posts and taking on board that advice. It was truly amazing. I am in the process of printing it out and I am going to highlight the parts to read over and over.
I can't say I am in a good place right now. It feels like this is killing me but it has to be done now, once and for all. We have had no contact at all today. I have printed out a calendar for this month which I will use to get through each day. Everyday I don't contact him (I have no plans to although it is hard) I am going to write NC. If he contacts me I will just have to do my very best not to respond at all.
Thank you all for your amazing words on all of my threads. I truly appreciate it.
