I was invited to lunch today with the family of a young man I do PCA work for. I know his immediate family pretty well and have meet his aunt and uncle and grandma one time.
We were finished with lunch (which was delicious) and talking and his uncle starts talking men and how they are biologically programmed after their wife gets older to trade her in for a younger woman. (As he sits next to his wife of 25 years who is currently undergoing treatment for breast cancer). This is just what happens to a man because he is a man. I said something about how it messes with the mind of the woman who that happens to.
He then goes on to say that really marriage is just a man made institution anyway. Mind you he is a good practicing member of his church. I said marriage is an ordinance that is ordained of God and vows are made before God that they are sacred. I said something about the fact that vows are made before God and should be honored. He wanted to know where I'd heard that? Well my church teaches this as do many others. Especially the one he belongs to. To which he then says marriage is about honor and commitment and loyalty. By then I was getting tearful and said there has to be integrity in the marriage so a man doesn't go out looking for a better younger person just because his wife is older.
It was awkward and my tears made him uncomfortable something that I don't care about. Isn't this part of the problem that we here on SI are experiencing that so many people believe that a marriage partner can just be traded in for someone younger or whatever excuse is used to justify infidelity?
So are they then to be given a pass just because they are men and this "just happens" to them. Marriage and commitment and loyalty and integrity to each other are part of the vows taken and shouldn't be considered so lightly expendable.
When I left he did apologize that he made me cry. I would like to hope that somehow something I said made him think that that thinking is all wrong. However, I'm not deluding myself that he "heard" me. I'm just glad I said what I felt needed to be said.
I don't think it helped that I'm closing in on dday and so many things right now are triggers for me.
Happy Independence Day! I think I'm going to take myself out to watch fireworks tonight. Just because I want to.