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Help understanding some terminology in online dating forums.

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MovingUpward posted 7/5/2013 11:24 AM

So in talking with someone about OLD forums, I've run across confusions on what certain body styles seem to mean. So I'd thought I'd throw in out here to see what you all think. So if you could please let me know what you think each term means when applied to a woman and a man. Here are the choices from one site

A little extra
Full figured

broken2 posted 7/5/2013 12:24 PM

Moo, I'd love to help you on this one, but I'm one of the confused as well. I'll sit back and watch what others post. Maybe I'll end up with some clarity. I find it varies from person to person as to what these different types mean. It's kind of like the beauty is in the eye of the beholder thing. Same could apply to body type, what one finds as average another may find as thin.

Amazonia posted 7/5/2013 12:36 PM

In my experience, most women figure out which category would logically define them based on the common usage of the terms, and then size down one.

Men are a little more hit or miss.

The hardest to define, IMO, are:
-"average" - because the average woman is a size 16 or something nowadays, but the placement on the list does not indicate a woman that large, being as it's between slender and fit.
-"curvy" - our society seems to think curvy=lumpy, and while it obviously doesn't, some women still define themselves that way

It also took me a long time to figure out what "jacked" meant. My understanding is that it means body builder/extremely muscled types.

Whalers11 posted 7/5/2013 12:39 PM

Are you asking in terms of describing yourself? Or in the case of someone's profile saying they are seeking someone with an athletic body type, and then someone else trying to figure out if they fit that type so they know it's worth it to send an initial message or not?

Sad in AZ posted 7/5/2013 12:50 PM

I would describe myself as 'curvy'. I've been told men read that as 'fat'. There seems to be a disconnect somewhere.

Mandilwen posted 7/5/2013 13:05 PM

I would say I'm a little extra through process of elimination. I'm not thin, fit, skinny, jacked, full figured, or athletic, lol. To me, curvy is that hourglass shape, rocking some hips and a booty. I sort of got that, but throw in my tummy and it throws it all out of whack,

lieshurt posted 7/5/2013 13:08 PM


These mean the same thing to me. I think Calista Flockhart when I see these descriptions.


No extra weight at all, but not skinny either.


Same as average, but able to climb stairs without getting winded and has a bit of muscle tone.


For some men, watching sports qualifies them to say they are athletic. However, to me, athletic would describe a Fit man who actually physically participates in sports. I think of Matthew McConaughey.


Bodybuilder....Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

A little extra

10 to 20 lbs overweight


Kim Kardashian body before she got pregnant.

Full figured

Fat or bbw

Of course, it depends on each person's perspective. What some people think is full figured, others may think is average. There isn't one set definition for each one. That's why current, full body photo's are a must.

[This message edited by lieshurt at 1:14 PM, July 5th (Friday)]

OnceInALifetime posted 7/5/2013 13:10 PM

I'm with Ama, that "average" is essentially meaningless. I've dated women who listed themselves as average who are very overweight, and other women who list themselves as average who are very trim.

Anyway, from my experience, as women apply to themselves:

Thin - exactly that, and not particularly strong

Skinny - never seen a woman label herself as such

Average - could be anything

Fit - doesn't really apply to weight, but rather how often she goes to the gym. Could be trim, or could be on the heavier side, with the common denominator that she is healthy, strength and endurance-wise.

Athletic - not necessarily trim, but one step more "fit" than fit. This is someone who gets regular exercise, and likes outdoor sports.

Jacked - never seen a woman described herself this way

A little extra - a lot extra

Curvy - sometimes used truthfully, which means hourglass. More often means big everywhere.

Full figured - overweight

SeanFLA posted 7/5/2013 13:50 PM

In my experience most people think very highly of themselves...too highly. Many women present themselves as "athletic and toned". You look at their profile and it says they work out two times a week. Umm...I'm sorry but walking on a treadmill two times a week for 30 minutes or participating in a bowling league doesn't qualify as athletic and toned in my sense. If you are running 40 or 50 miles a week or play tennis four times a week or on three separate teams, yeah no problem there. I just put average for myself. I think many of them forget that there ARE pictures attached to their profile that we all can see.

Newlease posted 7/5/2013 15:45 PM

Interesting. So many possibilities.

I'm 52 years old, 5'3", 155 lbs. I exercise in fits and spurts. I try not to eat excessively. Would I be "a little extra" or "curvy?"

Just 2 years ago I had a fairly flat stomach - that's gone - my curves have gotten bigger. When I see a picture of myself, all I see is boobs and butt and think - when did that happen?

During XWH's A and for a few years after the D, I was "fit," "athletic," and working towards "stacked" (for a woman anyway). That was all due to the infidelity diet and exercise to relieve stress.

Now I'm fat and happy - my "therapy" is riding a motorcycle which doesn't really get rid of any calories!

I'm really trying to be healthy - not for looks as much as I don't want to take any medication for blood pressure, cholesterol, etc.

I think these body type labels are definitely in the eye of the beholder. And personally, I would be harder on myself than someone else.

Good luck figuring it out!


caregiver9000 posted 7/5/2013 16:27 PM

In my experience most people think very highly of themselves...too highly.

I think the opposite.

I spent many years learning to look in the mirror and love what was there. So I can say that today I think well of myself. And I PROMISE you I am looking for a match that sees at least what I see in the mirror.

Now, I know this is purely a superficial/physical descriptor and my comment may be off the main topic.

But at what point do you cast aside what the package looks like and see if there is a fit on any other level that makes your EYES see differently?

How exactly would a person in a wheelchair describe themselves? If they work out are they stacked? Is that misleading??

If a person has Multiple Scelerosis or Muscular Dystrophy do they highlight that in their profile? I don't think so. I think it is unfair to expect people to trot out the flaws and ask someone who has not yet even met them to like them in spite of those flaws. That is what a friend does. And not everyone online is destined to be a friend.

lieshurt posted 7/5/2013 16:53 PM

But at what point do you cast aside what the package looks like and see if there is a fit on any other level that makes your EYES see differently?

I find this to be a rare occurence. If their physical appearance is just unappealing, then no matter how good of a personality they have, it won't overcome the lack of physical attraction.

cmego posted 7/5/2013 17:07 PM

I am 5"3, hover around 128 (+/- 5 pounds), a size 4/6. I walk 4 miles a day about 5 days a week and lift weights. I used to list myself as "average", but asked a few men and they told me to list as "slender" I do.

I consider my body average, nothing great about it. 2 kids, 6 surgeries, I know where I carry my extra weight. me. But slender to others. I do have a "body shot" in my profile.

But, I have heard men complain that "average" is more than likely "overweight".

I see most men list as either "athletic and toned" or "stocky"...doesn't seem to be much in between...unless tall and thin.

Only one man (out of 8 I have met) tried to downplay his weight...but you can't miss an extra 40 pounds.

cayc posted 7/5/2013 17:31 PM

My profile listed me as "athletic" but based upon these descriptors I should have listed myself as "jacked"! Who knew???

When I was OLD I never looked at the side bar descriptors except to see if they listed religion or education. Re body type I went by the pictures. And I wasn't too particular, I just had to think you were cute regardless of body size.

newnormal posted 7/5/2013 20:12 PM

Maybe this is a thread jack but what do the various intents mean? And does the meaning change depending on which old vendor you use (plenty of fish vs Christian mingle)?

Looking to get married
Actively seeking relationship
Just friends
Not looking for a relationship
And what ever other categories they list?


Williesmom posted 7/5/2013 20:29 PM

New normal- I don't give much credence to what a guy says they're looking for. No matter what they put, in my experience, they want to get laid with no strings attached.

I know that there are men out there that really DO Want a long term relationship, I just haven't met him yet.

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