Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: blkgld

New Beginnings :
Help understanding some terminology in online dating forums.

This Topic is Archived
default

 MovingUpward (original poster member #14866) posted at 5:24 PM on Friday, July 5th, 2013

So in talking with someone about OLD forums, I've run across confusions on what certain body styles seem to mean. So I'd thought I'd throw in out here to see what you all think. So if you could please let me know what you think each term means when applied to a woman and a man. Here are the choices from one site

Thin

Skinny

Average

Fit

Athletic

Jacked

A little extra

Curvy

Full figured

posts: 54450   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2007
id 6398050
default

broken2 ( member #16935) posted at 6:24 PM on Friday, July 5th, 2013

Moo, I'd love to help you on this one, but I'm one of the confused as well. I'll sit back and watch what others post. Maybe I'll end up with some clarity. I find it varies from person to person as to what these different types mean. It's kind of like the beauty is in the eye of the beholder thing. Same could apply to body type, what one finds as average another may find as thin.

posts: 2059   ·   registered: Nov. 8th, 2007
id 6398123
default

Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 6:36 PM on Friday, July 5th, 2013

In my experience, most women figure out which category would logically define them based on the common usage of the terms, and then size down one.

Men are a little more hit or miss.

The hardest to define, IMO, are:

-"average" - because the average woman is a size 16 or something nowadays, but the placement on the list does not indicate a woman that large, being as it's between slender and fit.

-"curvy" - our society seems to think curvy=lumpy, and while it obviously doesn't, some women still define themselves that way

It also took me a long time to figure out what "jacked" meant. My understanding is that it means body builder/extremely muscled types.

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

posts: 14469   ·   registered: Jul. 17th, 2011
id 6398135
default

Whalers11 ( member #27544) posted at 6:39 PM on Friday, July 5th, 2013

Are you asking in terms of describing yourself? Or in the case of someone's profile saying they are seeking someone with an athletic body type, and then someone else trying to figure out if they fit that type so they know it's worth it to send an initial message or not?

posts: 3358   ·   registered: Feb. 11th, 2010
id 6398140
default

Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 6:50 PM on Friday, July 5th, 2013

I would describe myself as 'curvy'. I've been told men read that as 'fat'. There seems to be a disconnect somewhere.

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

posts: 25351   ·   registered: Jun. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: Arizona
id 6398159
default

Mandilwen ( member #27186) posted at 7:05 PM on Friday, July 5th, 2013

I would say I'm a little extra through process of elimination. I'm not thin, fit, skinny, jacked, full figured, or athletic, lol. To me, curvy is that hourglass shape, rocking some hips and a booty. I sort of got that, but throw in my tummy and it throws it all out of whack,

BS-34; WXH-32; DS8; DS3; OC3
DDay: SEPT 2008
Divorced: JUNE 2010

posts: 318   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2010   ·   location: Indy
id 6398188
default

lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 7:08 PM on Friday, July 5th, 2013

Thin

Skinny

These mean the same thing to me. I think Calista Flockhart when I see these descriptions.

Average

No extra weight at all, but not skinny either.

Fit

Same as average, but able to climb stairs without getting winded and has a bit of muscle tone.

Athletic

For some men, watching sports qualifies them to say they are athletic. However, to me, athletic would describe a Fit man who actually physically participates in sports. I think of Matthew McConaughey.

Jacked

Bodybuilder....Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

A little extra

10 to 20 lbs overweight

Curvy

Kim Kardashian body before she got pregnant.

Full figured

Fat or bbw

Of course, it depends on each person's perspective. What some people think is full figured, others may think is average. There isn't one set definition for each one. That's why current, full body photo's are a must.

[This message edited by lieshurt at 1:14 PM, July 5th (Friday)]

No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.

posts: 22643   ·   registered: Mar. 20th, 2007   ·   location: Houston
id 6398194
default

OnceInALifetime ( member #26023) posted at 7:10 PM on Friday, July 5th, 2013

I'm with Ama, that "average" is essentially meaningless. I've dated women who listed themselves as average who are very overweight, and other women who list themselves as average who are very trim.

Anyway, from my experience, as women apply to themselves:

Thin - exactly that, and not particularly strong

Skinny - never seen a woman label herself as such

Average - could be anything

Fit - doesn't really apply to weight, but rather how often she goes to the gym. Could be trim, or could be on the heavier side, with the common denominator that she is healthy, strength and endurance-wise.

Athletic - not necessarily trim, but one step more "fit" than fit. This is someone who gets regular exercise, and likes outdoor sports.

Jacked - never seen a woman described herself this way

A little extra - a lot extra

Curvy - sometimes used truthfully, which means hourglass. More often means big everywhere.

Full figured - overweight

BH, now divorced

posts: 3529   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2009   ·   location: New England
id 6398196
default

SeanFLA ( member #32380) posted at 7:50 PM on Friday, July 5th, 2013

In my experience most people think very highly of themselves...too highly. Many women present themselves as "athletic and toned". You look at their profile and it says they work out two times a week. Umm...I'm sorry but walking on a treadmill two times a week for 30 minutes or participating in a bowling league doesn't qualify as athletic and toned in my sense. If you are running 40 or 50 miles a week or play tennis four times a week or on three separate teams, yeah no problem there. I just put average for myself. I think many of them forget that there ARE pictures attached to their profile that we all can see.

BS(me) 53
WW 52
1 son 20 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley

posts: 1647   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2011   ·   location: Zombie Land
id 6398251
default

Newlease ( member #7767) posted at 9:45 PM on Friday, July 5th, 2013

Interesting. So many possibilities.

I'm 52 years old, 5'3", 155 lbs. I exercise in fits and spurts. I try not to eat excessively. Would I be "a little extra" or "curvy?"

Just 2 years ago I had a fairly flat stomach - that's gone - my curves have gotten bigger. When I see a picture of myself, all I see is boobs and butt and think - when did that happen?

During XWH's A and for a few years after the D, I was "fit," "athletic," and working towards "stacked" (for a woman anyway). That was all due to the infidelity diet and exercise to relieve stress.

Now I'm fat and happy - my "therapy" is riding a motorcycle which doesn't really get rid of any calories!

I'm really trying to be healthy - not for looks as much as I don't want to take any medication for blood pressure, cholesterol, etc.

I think these body type labels are definitely in the eye of the beholder. And personally, I would be harder on myself than someone else.

Good luck figuring it out!

NL

Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

posts: 8471   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2005
id 6398385
default

caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 10:27 PM on Friday, July 5th, 2013

In my experience most people think very highly of themselves...too highly.

I think the opposite.

I spent many years learning to look in the mirror and love what was there. So I can say that today I think well of myself. And I PROMISE you I am looking for a match that sees at least what I see in the mirror.

Now, I know this is purely a superficial/physical descriptor and my comment may be off the main topic.

But at what point do you cast aside what the package looks like and see if there is a fit on any other level that makes your EYES see differently?

How exactly would a person in a wheelchair describe themselves? If they work out are they stacked? Is that misleading??

If a person has Multiple Scelerosis or Muscular Dystrophy do they highlight that in their profile? I don't think so. I think it is unfair to expect people to trot out the flaws and ask someone who has not yet even met them to like them in spite of those flaws. That is what a friend does. And not everyone online is destined to be a friend.

Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

posts: 7063   ·   registered: May. 27th, 2010   ·   location: a better place
id 6398417
default

lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 10:53 PM on Friday, July 5th, 2013

But at what point do you cast aside what the package looks like and see if there is a fit on any other level that makes your EYES see differently?

I find this to be a rare occurence. If their physical appearance is just unappealing, then no matter how good of a personality they have, it won't overcome the lack of physical attraction.

No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.

posts: 22643   ·   registered: Mar. 20th, 2007   ·   location: Houston
id 6398435
default

cmego ( member #30346) posted at 11:07 PM on Friday, July 5th, 2013

I am 5"3, hover around 128 (+/- 5 pounds), a size 4/6. I walk 4 miles a day about 5 days a week and lift weights. I used to list myself as "average", but asked a few men and they told me to list as "slender"...so I do.

I consider my body average, nothing great about it. 2 kids, 6 surgeries, I know where I carry my extra weight. So...average...to me. But slender to others. I do have a "body shot" in my profile.

But, I have heard men complain that "average" is more than likely "overweight".

I see most men list as either "athletic and toned" or "stocky"...doesn't seem to be much in between...unless tall and thin.

Only one man (out of 8 I have met) tried to downplay his weight...but you can't miss an extra 40 pounds.

me...BS, 46 years old.
Divorced

posts: 4745   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2010   ·   location: South
id 6398448
default

cayc ( member #21964) posted at 11:31 PM on Friday, July 5th, 2013

My profile listed me as "athletic" but based upon these descriptors I should have listed myself as "jacked"! Who knew???

When I was OLD I never looked at the side bar descriptors except to see if they listed religion or education. Re body type I went by the pictures. And I wasn't too particular, I just had to think you were cute regardless of body size.

posts: 3446   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2008   ·   location: Mexico
id 6398465
default

newnormal ( member #21925) posted at 2:12 AM on Saturday, July 6th, 2013

Maybe this is a thread jack but what do the various intents mean? And does the meaning change depending on which old vendor you use (plenty of fish vs Christian mingle)?

Looking to get married

Actively seeking relationship

Just friends

Not looking for a relationship

And what ever other categories they list?

Thanks

BS 43 (me)
FWH 48
D-day 9/07

Dont retreat, reload.
"Pull that knife out of your back - and sever the fuel line to that bus you got thrown under" Bufffalo

posts: 1034   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2008
id 6398618
default

Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 2:29 AM on Saturday, July 6th, 2013

New normal- I don't give much credence to what a guy says they're looking for. No matter what they put, in my experience, they want to get laid with no strings attached.

I know that there are men out there that really DO Want a long term relationship, I just haven't met him yet.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

posts: 9299   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2009   ·   location: Western PA
id 6398629
This Topic is Archived
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20250404a 2002-2025 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy