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Need help in how to handle this weirdness

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holly1125 posted 7/5/2013 13:31 PM

Longtime stalker on this website but rarely post. I get a lot of comfort and help usually just by reading what everyone else is going through. However, this is beyond my scope and I really need help.

Short story: Ex POS has pictures on his phone of his newest girlfriends daughter (she's 9 or 10) in the bathtub. These pics were seen by a mutual friend who told me about it. I'm sure he deleted them as soon as he could b/c he knows she saw it.

The question is, should I try to say anything to the new g/f? I'm sure he has told her all kinds of lies about me so I doubt she'd believe me anyway but I just think it's weird. Am I over reacting?

GabyBaby posted 7/5/2013 13:36 PM

Normally anything having to do with the ex, I'd say stay out of it. But in this case, there's a child involved.

I say tell the GF. If possible, ask the mutual friend to tell the GF since the friend is the one who actually saw the pic and you're simply repeating what you were told.
The GF may or may not believe you, but at least you'll have tried.

Sad in AZ posted 7/5/2013 13:37 PM

Do you know for a fact that he is a pedophile? Does he have a police record? Is he on a sex offender website?

If none of this is true, stay out of it. You didn't see it. No need to bring crazy back into your life.

lieshurt posted 7/5/2013 13:37 PM

I agree with Gaby.

Sad in AZ posted 7/5/2013 13:38 PM

If you had seen it yourself, my response would be different, but it's just heresay. If anything, have the mutual friend tell the new girlfriend.

[This message edited by Sad in AZ at 1:39 PM, July 5th (Friday)]

ExposedNiblet posted 7/5/2013 13:49 PM

You should tell Mutual Friend to step up here and tell the g/f herself.

Aside from that, I think you should stay out of it.

holly1125 posted 7/5/2013 14:49 PM

OK, thanks for the advice.

No, he's not a convicted pedophile but there were allegations made against him at one time by a younger brother and sister (steps). He does have issues with porn, I know from past experinces but other than that...

I can't ask the mutual friend to get involved. She takes care of our son and if he found out she's the one that told the g/f he'd remove him from her care.

[This message edited by holly1125 at 2:50 PM, July 5th (Friday)]

Nature_Girl posted 7/5/2013 15:11 PM

Then it's time for an anonymous note to the GF.

People, we're talking about a child. A child! The child's safety comes above all other concerns. Even if this XH never actually molests this girl, he may very well send out her pictures over the internet to other sickos. Is anyone here comfortable with the idea of men around the world masturbating while looking at pictures of this girl in the tub? What's next, pictures of her naked on the bed?

LisaP posted 7/6/2013 11:18 AM

Given the fact he has previous accusations and an issue with porn...the GF should be told. I would send an anonymous note as suggested.

peacelovetea posted 7/6/2013 11:41 AM

I'm a mandated reporter, and I would have to call CPS to report that. Would the mutual friend be willing to do that anonymously? You could, as well, but since its hearsay they may not investigate. But, there would be a record of a report, and even if they didn't investigate now if there were ever another call you bet they would notice that -- its often the pattern of minor reports that sparks a major concern.

kernel posted 7/6/2013 14:12 PM

If you tell the GF, won't he know that your mutual friend told you?

An anonymous note makes the most sense.

[This message edited by kernel at 2:12 PM, July 6th (Saturday)]

Kajem posted 7/6/2013 14:26 PM

I had Dept of children and families come and visit for heresay neglect from 1 phone call from anonymous.

I would think they would investigate any allegations regarding [pictures of a child in the tub... especially if that child was NOT a cute baby. I would make an anonymous call and I would also request that the caregiver make the call.

Holly, I apologize I am not familiar with your story.. do you and your X share custody of your son? in my state anyone who is caring for children is mandated to report this type of thing to the authorities. I thought it was that way in all states.
If suspected stuff isn't reported they can loose their license to care for children.



holly1125 posted 7/8/2013 10:09 AM

Kajem: Yes we have shared custody both legal and physical.

I did contact a friend that works for CPS over the weekend. She contacted someone in sex crimes who basically told her that unless it was a sexually suggestive pose there wasn't anything they could do about it.

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