Gosh does it ever stop or get easier?
In my situation it was most vivid for several months following d-day. I think for me it was because I had 20 years of information that I had to sort through. It was a shock to the system to have my suspicions confirmed. You'd think it would be more lie, "damn, I knew I was right" then move on. Not so. I had to go back and re-validate all the major gaslighting events where I let myself be lead astray.
As it progressed, I learned that my defense mechanism was to automatically believe nothing and assume the worse. Eventually I seen that was an inaccurate assessment of her behavior that only drove me crazy. There were (are) moments that would send me into instant full on suspicion, but they are becoming fewer and farther between and much less intense. When you are ready, you can let your WS know what it is that causes you distrust. That helped me (it didn't fix it, but it helped).
I think I got to the point where I just don't give a shit anymore because it doesn't do me any good to be suspicious without evidence. There are still those "trust your gut red flag moments" that you certainly cannot rugsweep, but some of the worry was unfounded and just makes you sick for no good reason.
If your WS is willing to do the work and you want to consider R, then it is acceptable to give them a road map of sorts to get their general direction set. Once the initial shock of d-day wears off, you'll be in much better shape to analyze the suspicion. In my case I am taking a little too long, retracted my commitment to R and am in limbo somewhere between R & D.
I always hated the expression "trust but verify" because it was devoid of the instant gratification I was seeking. But, it is good that you notice what is happening. You are just spooked at every little sound in the jungle of infidelity. Sooner or later you'll learn what is ok and what is not.
I hope you find your peace soon.