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Told my mom and dad today

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soveryweary posted 7/5/2013 16:11 PM

I as dreading it, dad is 88 and loves my STBXH and he was floored. He even got a bit weepy, which killed me. Mom is 83and she is wasn't surprised, she has known all along something was up.
Neither of them asked if there as infidelity involved, and I didn't clue them in. Baby steps. I just know they hurt for me and that makes me so sad.

Rainbows posted 7/5/2013 16:23 PM


It took me almost a week after I filed D to tell my parents. My mom just knew something was up, too.

I warmed them up to it over the course of that week because it was so heartbreaking for me to know that they would hurt and worry about me. I wanted to be and sound ok when I told them.

Although they were sad, they were reassured knowing it was my decision and I was making a choice that was in my best interest.

Nature_Girl posted 7/5/2013 16:34 PM

My mom cried when I told her. It was almost as bad as telling my kids.

dmari posted 7/5/2013 17:37 PM

Hugs to your parents. It is so hard for everyone involved, isn't it? Just like I hurt when my children hurt, my parents hurt when I am hurt. My mom knows stbx cheated on me but slowly told my dad over a few days. My parents also loved and accepted stbx completely so I know it hurt them too. We are blessed to have such compassionate and loving and supportive parents.

Abbondad posted 7/5/2013 17:54 PM

I am sorry to hear this. Both my parents are deceased, but I often think about how they would feel about our impending divorce. They loved my wife.

I was about to write "and she loved them," but then I remembered: while my mom lay dying in the hospital, she was cheating on me.

Not five days after she died, I sat on the floor in deep grief. I called my wife at work and asked her to come home and comfort me. Instead, she went to the OM and had sex with him.

So yes, they would be heartbroken, but ultimately because of the severe emotional abuse foisted upon their son--not because of our divorce.

soveryweary posted 7/5/2013 18:04 PM

Hugs to you all.
So strange, I'm 51 years old with grown children, and felt a little girl who just wanted to crawl on her dads lap and cry.

Nature_Girl posted 7/5/2013 18:27 PM

So strange, I'm 51 years old with grown children, and felt a little girl who just wanted to crawl on her dads lap and cry

Exactly the same thought goes through my mind to this very day. I wish my father was still alive so I could just feel his strong arms around me. And then I know he'd most likely make STBX disappear, which wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to happen.

Linus1968 posted 7/5/2013 18:31 PM

My mom was not a big fan of her, so this just amplified it.
My MIL apparently did not sleep for a week, and got really sick for a few weeks. Fever, the whole bit. I felt bad for her.

You're an interesting species, an interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other. - Contact

Phoenix1 posted 7/6/2013 01:30 AM

I just told my dad last week and I was dreading it too (lost mom several years ago). It was difficult, but he was not surprised by either the D or the infidelity. It was a tremendous relief just to get it out in the open. Being his only daughter, he was just really sorry I was having to deal with it and, pushing 50, faced with starting over. I absolutely hate secrets, and that one was killing me! So glad that's over!

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