While h and I were legally separated last yr, I had moved out and he filed for D, he started dating a woman a few yrs older than him. They dated for about 3 weeks before he and I reconnected. I had found out about her through a mutual friend and sent her a message on Fb. I was very nice and told her our history, what I knew of it at that time. She and I talked back and forth for a few days with her telling me that she thought he still loved me. I asked her if they were sleeping together and she said she wouldn't discuss that with me, which told me they were. So she ended up backing off. .told him that she didn't think she was ready for a relationship as her husband had just passed away 3 months before. she left town for a couple wks. He and I reconnected and a month later she sends me a message telling me she is back in town and has decided she wants him. I replied back telling her that we have spent every day and most nights together. She had the nerve to tell me that if they decided to keep seeing each other that was between them. I told him about the conversation and he called her and told her he wasn't interested in seeing her again. That he did in fact still love me. Well... she is friends with our neighbors, 4 houses away, and she has been at their house for the last 2 days! I don't consider it an A, because legally we were separated. But her thinking it was OK to try to come between us while we were working on our M pisses me off! Add to that total lack of sleep. H was wore out last night and fell asleep early, so we didn't get to cuddle, kiss and talk before falling asleep. So, I couldn't get to sleep until after 4. Then my son got called in to work at 6 and I had to get up to take him. This morning we had a long talk about the AP which put me in tears for a couple hours. He told me that while she never said she loved him, she would send him messages non stop. Begging to meet up more, telling him she missed him and needed him. I told him that I found it hard to believe that with the A lasting for over 2 yrs that he never had feelings for her. That's when he told me that the only reason he stayed was she was stroking his ego, telling him what he wanted to hear. And that he tried to end it many times, would go days without answering her, but she would keep sending the messages until he would reply. He said that when I moved out she thought she had succeeded and he only seen her one time after that. I asked him to imagine, honestly, one yrs into the A if she had been hit by a bus and killed. What would you have felt..his answer. Nothing! Maybe relief, but not grief. He is not a cold hearted person, but he says he honestly has no feelings toward her at all. He takes responsibility for his decision to cheat, however, feels that she played on his depression and went after him with the intent to destroy our M so she could have him for herself. She is a single mom, limited income and he makes damn good money... doesn't take a genius to figure out what she was looking for. All I want to do right now is curl up in bed and cry myself to sleep!
Sorry for the long rant!